This is Episode Eleven of conversations with stoic mamas along the way, part of a series of conversations with moms who’ve consciously chosen to shift the way they’re relating to this circumstance; using the context of parenting a trans-identified child to build capacity and get bigger than the problem. This episode is sponsored by Dream School. Brought to you by the creators of This Jungian Life, Dream School is a year-long dream interpretation course designed to teach you how to “decode the language of metaphor and symbol, and harness the power of your unconscious wisdom.” Stoicmom subscribers can get 15% off tuition with the coupon code: STOICMOM15 Go to https://thisjungianlife.com/join-dream-school/ to learn more and enroll.
I sure appreciated this raw and honest conversation with Kelly. On the interest form, she posed some questions to me about my experience as a mother in this and we begin the conversation there; this led to a really different feel to the back and forth. (And I still may write that post; I certainly have more to say in response…) I think moms will find this an incredibly relatable conversation that will offer what Kelly hoped to accomplish by expressing interest in being a guest—helping other moms know that there’s some light at the end of this tunnel.
In our follow-up emails after the conversation, Kelly shared this and I gained her permission to put it here in the show notes:
It occurred to me that another piece that I wish we touched on was shame. And the truth I have come to for myself has mitigated so much of that. The truth really does set one free... never really understood that saying! When someone asks about (my daughter) ... an old acquaintance or mom of a friend of hers I am very blunt with the truth. I usually say well (my daughter) believes she is a man now and we are not really on board with it all. It usually precludes any other questions and highlights the absurdity of it .....
I think a lot of Moms struggle with what others may think and how to deal with it.
We go to some interesting places in the conversation including diving into what love is and how it can change over time, as well as how different it feels to choose to love someone who makes it difficult to do so. I second Kelly’s encouragement to be tender and patient with ourselves as we move through this oh-so-humbling parenting circumstance.
I will not lose my family over this -with Kelly