Welcome to Attachment Matters.
A series of conversations between two moms who love to nerd out on the subject of attachment. We’ll dive into what it is, what it isn’t, what it relates to, what it can mean for parenting, and how it can help us explain the current state of things.
As mothers, both of us found ourselves entangled in the world of gender ideology, following very different routes to get here. What we share in common is how the attachment framework has helped us to untangle the threads, and better understand and fulfill our responsibilities as mothers in both the beauty and the challenge of these times.
In this episode, we finish answering our first round of community member questions, highlighting the crucial component of play to soften the defenses of both ourselves and our trans-identified children, including those who have neural differences or no longer reside in the home. We also plant seeds for future conversations around the cultural obstacles and other complicating dynamics that make prioritizing relationship in today’s world so incredibly challenging, yet more important than ever.
Resources to deepen understanding of the concepts discussed:
Roots of Attachment: Six Stages of Relationship (This is the video by Dr. Gordon Neufeld that we have focused on during the first four episodes of this series.)
Making Sense of Counterwill (Neufeld Institute Course Description of this concept that might transform your understanding of human behavior!)
The North Wind and the Sun (Rose shares this fable to illustrate the power of warmth to soften defenses.)
We encourage you to pay attention to your relationships and whether you’re experiencing a sense of play. Where might you add a bit of humor or practice just a little bit of silly?
Click here for more information on the SMP Online Community
Rose was introduced to Dr. Gordon Neufeld’s attachment-based developmental model when her two sons were very young, and it has significantly shaped her life. She brings a depth of knowledge from the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld, having taken a number of courses at the Neufeld Institute. This series offers her the opportunity to share insights from this model with parents who are trying to make sense of their trans-identified children.
As a mom of two teens and a former classroom educator, StoicMom has an intense interest in attachment and development. She’s done some serious dabbling into the Neufeld bank of knowledge but also has a knack for scanning the environment for frameworks to discover where they overlap and where they diverge. In her work supporting parents of trans-identified kids, she’s committed to making sense of how we find ourselves grappling with things like gender identity and the other ways that our kids are struggling to find their place in this world.
You can discover more detail about Rose’s story by reading her (viral) PITT submission: True Believer or listen to her interviewed on Gender: A Wider Lens and on Triggernometry.
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