Welcome to Attachment Matters.
A series of conversations between two moms who love to nerd out on the subject of attachment. We’ll dive into what it is, what it isn’t, what it relates to, what it can mean for parenting, and how it can help us explain the current state of things.
Rose was introduced to Dr. Gordon Neufeld’s attachment-based developmental model when her two sons were very young, and it has significantly shaped her life. She brings a depth of knowledge from the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld, having taken a number of courses at the Neufeld Institute. This series offers her the opportunity to share insights from this model with parents who are trying to make sense of their trans-identified children.
As a mom of two teens and a former classroom educator, StoicMom has an intense interest in attachment and development. She’s done some serious dabbling into the Neufeld bank of knowledge but also has a knack for scanning the environment for frameworks to discover where they overlap and where they diverge. In her work supporting parents of trans-identified kids, she’s committed to making sense of how we find ourselves grappling with things like gender identity and the other ways that our kids are struggling to find their place in this world.
Both of us found ourselves entangled in the world of gender ideology, following very different routes to get here. We share a passion for the attachment framework as a way to understand and fulfill our roles and responsibilities as mothers in these oh-so-strange times.
You can discover more detail about Rose’s story by reading her (viral) PITT submission: True Believer or listen to her interviewed on Gender: A Wider Lens and on Triggernometry.
In this episode, Rose likens the conditions that foster all 6 stages of attachment to a womb that gestates the maturity necessary for true individuation. We introduce the concept and importance of parents taking the “alpha” role in relationship to our children and how healthy parenting demands that we grow ourselves up. Rose shares more details of her story of estrangement and healing with her own parents, and we encourage finding faith in something larger than ourselves so that we can feel held and find rest.
Roots of Attachment: Six Stages of Relationship (This is the video by Dr. Gordon Neufeld that we have focused on during the first four episodes of this series.)
StoicMom also references in this conversation her widely shared article, Coming Home along with this quote from How will you know?
As a reflection prompt, we invite you to contemplate whether you currently “feel held and at rest?” What does this bring up for you? Any and all comments are welcome, and we will “see” you again in two weeks.
Ep 4 of Attachment Matters: Holding On and Letting Go