How are we what they need us to be if they then essentially cut us off for difference and they are already in their mid 20s? My kid said she has only really considered she was " trans" since attending a very progressive college and thus being around peers who decided she was " more he than she" including her 70 yr old mentor who suggested she find supportive people if this was to be her undertaking. Ugh!
If there appears to be a relative good attachment by so many standards, some of the young adults were doing fairly well and even were seemingly in maturation per se, but then were knocked off center by the ideology itself and their belonging to their peer group of authority, I'm not sure where to go with that as far as relationship goes as it forces a closing of those important relationships just as religion can.
Just to say, some of us have disconnected relationships with spouses and families and thus so do the kids, and with it a natural lack of reliance on community within, therefore she creates a community without.
"We are wounded so our defenses go up, Aversion to Hierarchacal."
If I understand correctly she has become the "alpha" for herself in her intimate relationships even tho the male figure was abandoning..but wouldn't that be somewhat healthy by our mid 20's? I assume, with distanced families, self reliance is perhaps unhealthy thru this attachment lens.. but self reliance is a real need!.
I think it can be helpful to recognize our limitations, and show up as best we can in our integrity knowing that much is beyond our control. I know Neufeld has ideas about dependence that don't jive with much of what we learn, and I also see the benefits of self-reliance. I'm not well-versed enough in Neufeld's ideas on this topic to address your question here, but I do hope to get to this as well as a deeper dive into the cultural obstacles to being the parents our children need us to be in future conversations with Rose!
Thx for the reply. I had to edit for clarity, thus maybe my thought project was incomplete as it stood. Lol. Nonetheless, I hear your point and understand these are points for reflection.
How are we what they need us to be if they then essentially cut us off for difference and they are already in their mid 20s? My kid said she has only really considered she was " trans" since attending a very progressive college and thus being around peers who decided she was " more he than she" including her 70 yr old mentor who suggested she find supportive people if this was to be her undertaking. Ugh!
If there appears to be a relative good attachment by so many standards, some of the young adults were doing fairly well and even were seemingly in maturation per se, but then were knocked off center by the ideology itself and their belonging to their peer group of authority, I'm not sure where to go with that as far as relationship goes as it forces a closing of those important relationships just as religion can.
Just to say, some of us have disconnected relationships with spouses and families and thus so do the kids, and with it a natural lack of reliance on community within, therefore she creates a community without.
"We are wounded so our defenses go up, Aversion to Hierarchacal."
If I understand correctly she has become the "alpha" for herself in her intimate relationships even tho the male figure was abandoning..but wouldn't that be somewhat healthy by our mid 20's? I assume, with distanced families, self reliance is perhaps unhealthy thru this attachment lens.. but self reliance is a real need!.
Any feedback is appreciated.
Hi there! Thanks for these questions!
I think it can be helpful to recognize our limitations, and show up as best we can in our integrity knowing that much is beyond our control. I know Neufeld has ideas about dependence that don't jive with much of what we learn, and I also see the benefits of self-reliance. I'm not well-versed enough in Neufeld's ideas on this topic to address your question here, but I do hope to get to this as well as a deeper dive into the cultural obstacles to being the parents our children need us to be in future conversations with Rose!
Thx for the reply. I had to edit for clarity, thus maybe my thought project was incomplete as it stood. Lol. Nonetheless, I hear your point and understand these are points for reflection.
"They can't resist that pull!" Yeah that makes sense..
You might appreciate this podcast:
https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/N27uhIa15Ib