Welcome to Attachment Matters.
A series of conversations between two moms who love to nerd out on the subject of attachment. We’ll dive into what it is, what it isn’t, what it relates to, what it can mean for parenting, and how it can help us explain the current state of things.
Rose was introduced to Dr. Gordon Neufeld’s attachment-based developmental model when her two sons were very young, and it has significantly shaped her life. She brings a depth of knowledge from the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld, having taken a number of courses at the Neufeld Institute. This series offers her the opportunity to share insights from this model with parents who are trying to make sense of their trans-identified children.
As a mom of two teens and a former classroom educator, StoicMom has an intense interest in attachment and development. She’s done some serious dabbling into the Neufeld bank of knowledge but also has a knack for scanning the environment for frameworks to discover where they overlap and where they diverge. In her work supporting parents of trans-identified kids, she’s committed to making sense of how we find ourselves grappling with things like gender identity and the other ways that our kids are struggling to find their place in this world.
Both of us found ourselves entangled in the world of gender ideology, following very different routes to get here. We share a passion for the attachment framework as a way to understand and fulfill our roles and responsibilities as mothers in these oh-so-strange times.
You can discover more detail about Rose’s story by reading her (viral) PITT submission: True Believer or listen to her interviewed on Gender: A Wider Lens and on Triggernometry.
In this episode, we revisit what to do with “the impulse to fix” and we touch on the way our culture uses leverage to drive behavior. We also explain why we might want to extend abundant grace to our children, Rose introduces the last three, more vulnerable stages of attachment, and we define Neufeld’s concept of collecting.
Resources to deepen understanding of the concepts discussed:
Roots of Attachment: Six Stages of Relationship (This is the video by Dr. Gordon Neufeld that is referred to in this episode, and which we will continue to discuss in the next conversation.)
The Seeds I’ve Sown, PITT. (We reference this article shared in Ep 2 show notes again in this discussion.)
We invite you to share any reflections that this episode brings up. Where do you see yourself, your child, or other people in your life attaching through being “in touch,” being the same as, or seeking to belong and be loyal? Any and all comments are welcome, and we will “see” you again in two weeks.
Ep 3 of Attachment Matters: The Generous Invitation