I am looking forward to listening to those interviews! It will certainly be enlightening and interesting to hear the three of you converse on this subject. Thanks for accepting his invitation.
I don’t think you are representative of most ROGD moms, but I do think a Boyce interview will introduce you to a bunch of more typical moms.
Ultimately we don’t control our young adult children , but we can focus on nurturing and maintaining relationships so we can be there for them no matter their medical choices.
I feel super out of touch too! And am in a very different place than I was a few years ago. Not sure what role this stuff will play in my life anymore. But I think you have a lot of wisdom to share and I can’t wait to have a unique conversation together :)
I so appreciate you taking the time to leave this comment! I love knowing you're in a similar relationship with it all right now and think it will indeed be a unique conversation. It's such an honor to be invited. Thank you.
A dialogue with a person as skilled as BB will uncover some of the painful experience that the trans wave has had on parents. Your voice is calm and your inner work is a light for us coping mothers. If BB were to interview me, there would be whaling and begging for this movement to let go of our children! I would scream bloody murder!
Please take our pain for the lives of our children to the interview along with your reason and philosophy.
I am glad you have accepted the BB invitations. His conversations are always important and your story is an important one, no matter where you are on any weirdness scale. A parental voice is a beautiful thing in this space, and you are an eloquent one.
Yes! I noticed the same thing recently, some awareness of how challenging this is for the parents. Glad you will speak to this. I loved hearing Miriam Grossman speak for us. I eagerly await her book out in June! I used to believe that it was healthy to try on different personas but that used to mean punk, dead head, etc. Our support for this is now outdated. It has been taken advantage of by the current climate. Kids being told they can be unicorns. But also who could blame them, as was touched on recently on Wider Lens with Steven Levine and Julia Mason, regarding the violent porn and inability to date in a traditional way. Sexuality has become warped. No wonder they opt into something that allows them to pause growing up. How does one now encourage a kid to go explore an identity? They need to mature first and society (and doctors) need to stop demanding they conform to an unrealistic and unattainable stereotype. I feel like parents hands are tied here. Especially if you have a child with autism.
I came to your substack after hearing you on BB podcast. You did so wonderful! I am a mom of an 7 year old autistic boy but your story speaks to me in a profound way. Thank you so much <3 I understand it can feel sometimes out of place to tell your story but please know that you are helping other quite lost moms, that are like me still in the woods of trying to get some sort of direction, so so much.
It means so much to me to get comments like this! Thank you for taking the time to share these thoughts. I'm grateful you've found your way to the SMP and hope the content here can support you to feel even a little less lost in the woods.
So glad the three of you will be speaking on this topic. It can only bring enlightenment - to one degree or another - on what I think (okay, as a parent going through this, I’m a little biased) is one of the most under-reported upon and important issues of mental and physical unhealth (the latter being purely iatrogenic) to darken our doors. StoicMom, you will surely bring to light not only our shared plight, but your own unique way of dealing with it - and that will help many mothers to simply cope (a not so simple task). Helena will, as always, give people insight on why this phenomenon is so attractive to so many young people today. And BB will sew it all together and ask the questions that need to be asked. I feel like I’m advertising for this now, but I’m just expressing my admiration for the three of you.
Very exciting! You'll be a great addition to his library of guests (I only know of a few but love them - Eliza Mondegreen, Christina Buttons) and more moms will learn through you that they do not have to drown in fear and anxiety during this destabilizing event in our lives.
I’m excited you are taking up this opportunity and would echo what other commenters have said about the growing (albeit from a very low base) openness to and interest in the stories of ROGD parents. While you may not be the typical mom at this point in your journey I have found much to relate to in your descriptions of what you went through and learned along the way.
Learning as I go. I am one year in from my teen son’s announcement of being a trans lesbian. I will say I was a bit crazy (and extremely depressed) the first few months. We are in more of a watch and see approach now. I am seeing little signs of desistance. But not sure if he is just bidding his time til 18 or having second thoughts. We will be here for him either way. Love my kids, even when I don’t agree with their decisions.
I am looking forward to listening to those interviews! It will certainly be enlightening and interesting to hear the three of you converse on this subject. Thanks for accepting his invitation.
Thanks for the encouragement, Jenn!
I don’t think you are representative of most ROGD moms, but I do think a Boyce interview will introduce you to a bunch of more typical moms.
Ultimately we don’t control our young adult children , but we can focus on nurturing and maintaining relationships so we can be there for them no matter their medical choices.
I love this DahliaChi. Funny how they still seem driven to push us away as they prepare to take flight; nature works in such mysterious ways...
I feel super out of touch too! And am in a very different place than I was a few years ago. Not sure what role this stuff will play in my life anymore. But I think you have a lot of wisdom to share and I can’t wait to have a unique conversation together :)
I so appreciate you taking the time to leave this comment! I love knowing you're in a similar relationship with it all right now and think it will indeed be a unique conversation. It's such an honor to be invited. Thank you.
A dialogue with a person as skilled as BB will uncover some of the painful experience that the trans wave has had on parents. Your voice is calm and your inner work is a light for us coping mothers. If BB were to interview me, there would be whaling and begging for this movement to let go of our children! I would scream bloody murder!
Please take our pain for the lives of our children to the interview along with your reason and philosophy.
I love you, Lori! I hope you're holding those painful feelings with the love and tenderness that you would hold a crying baby. ;)
I bring in your wise words
I am glad you have accepted the BB invitations. His conversations are always important and your story is an important one, no matter where you are on any weirdness scale. A parental voice is a beautiful thing in this space, and you are an eloquent one.
Oh, thank you for this encouragement!
Yes! I noticed the same thing recently, some awareness of how challenging this is for the parents. Glad you will speak to this. I loved hearing Miriam Grossman speak for us. I eagerly await her book out in June! I used to believe that it was healthy to try on different personas but that used to mean punk, dead head, etc. Our support for this is now outdated. It has been taken advantage of by the current climate. Kids being told they can be unicorns. But also who could blame them, as was touched on recently on Wider Lens with Steven Levine and Julia Mason, regarding the violent porn and inability to date in a traditional way. Sexuality has become warped. No wonder they opt into something that allows them to pause growing up. How does one now encourage a kid to go explore an identity? They need to mature first and society (and doctors) need to stop demanding they conform to an unrealistic and unattainable stereotype. I feel like parents hands are tied here. Especially if you have a child with autism.
I couldn't agree more that so many have opted "into something that allows them to pause growing up." And come on, who wouldn't want to be a unicorn?
I came to your substack after hearing you on BB podcast. You did so wonderful! I am a mom of an 7 year old autistic boy but your story speaks to me in a profound way. Thank you so much <3 I understand it can feel sometimes out of place to tell your story but please know that you are helping other quite lost moms, that are like me still in the woods of trying to get some sort of direction, so so much.
It means so much to me to get comments like this! Thank you for taking the time to share these thoughts. I'm grateful you've found your way to the SMP and hope the content here can support you to feel even a little less lost in the woods.
“That this is less about how we parented and more about the time and place that we’re parenting in.” In a nutshell sister-coach!
You’re in good hands and you got this.
I'm so late in responding to this, Lisa! Thank you. It was...well it was interesting. ;)
So glad the three of you will be speaking on this topic. It can only bring enlightenment - to one degree or another - on what I think (okay, as a parent going through this, I’m a little biased) is one of the most under-reported upon and important issues of mental and physical unhealth (the latter being purely iatrogenic) to darken our doors. StoicMom, you will surely bring to light not only our shared plight, but your own unique way of dealing with it - and that will help many mothers to simply cope (a not so simple task). Helena will, as always, give people insight on why this phenomenon is so attractive to so many young people today. And BB will sew it all together and ask the questions that need to be asked. I feel like I’m advertising for this now, but I’m just expressing my admiration for the three of you.
🙏 Grateful for you!
Very exciting! You'll be a great addition to his library of guests (I only know of a few but love them - Eliza Mondegreen, Christina Buttons) and more moms will learn through you that they do not have to drown in fear and anxiety during this destabilizing event in our lives.
Thank you for this encouragement, Erin E.!
I’m excited you are taking up this opportunity and would echo what other commenters have said about the growing (albeit from a very low base) openness to and interest in the stories of ROGD parents. While you may not be the typical mom at this point in your journey I have found much to relate to in your descriptions of what you went through and learned along the way.
I appreciate this encouragement! <3
Learning as I go. I am one year in from my teen son’s announcement of being a trans lesbian. I will say I was a bit crazy (and extremely depressed) the first few months. We are in more of a watch and see approach now. I am seeing little signs of desistance. But not sure if he is just bidding his time til 18 or having second thoughts. We will be here for him either way. Love my kids, even when I don’t agree with their decisions.
Yes! And I think it's so important that we model for them that love and disagreement can coexist.
This compliment means I'm accomplishing what I set out to do! Thank you for sharing this comment. :)