Another great conversation, ladies. Thank you. The "teachable moments" is something I had to let go of long ago. My daughter caught on to me pretty young, maybe 8 or 9, and one day when I was getting ready to, very gently, launch into a teachable moment, she looked at me and simply said "Don't." So I didn't. I have no idea what it was about, nothing trans related I'm pretty sure.
As much as I speak out about the dangers of trans identity and identity politics and all things identity related, because it can be so limiting and divisive, I realize that I was leaning heavily on my identity as a teacher with my children. Surely teaching them all the things I've learned over my many years of mistakes and heartbreaks and lost dreams is the job of a mom. Right? So they can go on to not make the same mistakes and get it all right and live happily ever after. Apparently not.
I'm learning that our connection is everything. However I can deepen that connection is the way to go. And when I damage the connection from time to time, which is inevitable, repair is easier and faster the deeper the connection we start with. And they are making many of the same mistakes I made. And inventing plenty of new ones of their own. And doing things I don't want them to do and believing things that I find ridiculous. And I love them more every day and we have fun and laugh and we argue and sometimes yell and my job as a mom is to contain all of that in a safe and nurturing space.
More running (away) music: https://genius.com/J-ivy-running-lyrics
Another great conversation, ladies. Thank you. The "teachable moments" is something I had to let go of long ago. My daughter caught on to me pretty young, maybe 8 or 9, and one day when I was getting ready to, very gently, launch into a teachable moment, she looked at me and simply said "Don't." So I didn't. I have no idea what it was about, nothing trans related I'm pretty sure.
As much as I speak out about the dangers of trans identity and identity politics and all things identity related, because it can be so limiting and divisive, I realize that I was leaning heavily on my identity as a teacher with my children. Surely teaching them all the things I've learned over my many years of mistakes and heartbreaks and lost dreams is the job of a mom. Right? So they can go on to not make the same mistakes and get it all right and live happily ever after. Apparently not.
I'm learning that our connection is everything. However I can deepen that connection is the way to go. And when I damage the connection from time to time, which is inevitable, repair is easier and faster the deeper the connection we start with. And they are making many of the same mistakes I made. And inventing plenty of new ones of their own. And doing things I don't want them to do and believing things that I find ridiculous. And I love them more every day and we have fun and laugh and we argue and sometimes yell and my job as a mom is to contain all of that in a safe and nurturing space.