We’ve launched monthly themes within the online community. This just happened, but April has retroactively been dubbed: Radical Acceptance Month. This theme kept coming up, probably initially inspired by a special guest we had in March, veteran parent coach, Scott Noelle, and some of the resources he shared with us.
That you from sharing these eloquent writings. They are a first step to living happier and healthier than I have in a long time. I can now see a glimpse of light at what seems a long, dark and unending tunnel.
Thank you so much for this comment! This is the purpose of the StoicMom Project. I'm so glad that you're finding some hope and seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.
I’ve been working on looking past the outward appearance of my daughter’s half male transformation (can’t really tell if she’s a young male or female.) When I hear her new hoarse voice I think to myself it’s just a part of the autism in her that I’ve always been dealing with. I’ve had to accept her agency to choose her path in life and just let go. She’s now nineteen.
I still send her articles occasionally so she can be exposed to the other side and hopefully one day critically rethink her path, but that doesn’t immediately show any improvements. I still tell her I love her forever. She needs to know that love reaches past our disagreements.
I wish I never gave her a cell phone in middle school, I wish I took her out of public school, I wish I never sent her to therapy, but I didn’t know then how badly this evil cult was taking over the world. I didn’t realize how glued she would continue in the wacky ideology. It’s been five years now.
I’m now just watching and waiting for her to come to a true realization, but she’ll probably go through some self inflicted pain first to later see how this ruined her.
"Acceptance is freeing." Yes. And as you explain, neither acceptance nor the freedom that comes with it leads to the elimination of pain. Can I encourage you to not think of this experience as ruining her? We're all works in progress, and it's difficult to know what her future holds. If she comes to regret her choice to medicalize, it could be quite dangerous to think of herself as ruined.
Thanks for taking the time to share some of your painful story. My heart goes out to you and your girl.
You wrote about going to bed each night wishing the morning wouldn’t come. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that someone else in this situation has felt that way too. We are about a year in from the big news from my son. I’ve spent many a nights praying that I can be taken and he released from this darkness. During the day I smile and we go about life normally. Nights are hard. He is 17 almost 18. Hasn’t socialized at school, no meds. We love him and wait and see.
This can be a traumatizing experience for parents. I often refer to it as "a dark night of the soul". Unfortunately, I think there's not much out there to help parents come at this in a healthier way--so that anxiety doesn't consume us and affect how we're showing up in our relationship with our kids. This is incredibly destabilizing, and it can be really difficult to recognize what's going well. I hope you're able to let that love and attachment give you some comfort.
That you from sharing these eloquent writings. They are a first step to living happier and healthier than I have in a long time. I can now see a glimpse of light at what seems a long, dark and unending tunnel.
Thank you so much for this comment! This is the purpose of the StoicMom Project. I'm so glad that you're finding some hope and seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.
I’ve been working on looking past the outward appearance of my daughter’s half male transformation (can’t really tell if she’s a young male or female.) When I hear her new hoarse voice I think to myself it’s just a part of the autism in her that I’ve always been dealing with. I’ve had to accept her agency to choose her path in life and just let go. She’s now nineteen.
I still send her articles occasionally so she can be exposed to the other side and hopefully one day critically rethink her path, but that doesn’t immediately show any improvements. I still tell her I love her forever. She needs to know that love reaches past our disagreements.
I wish I never gave her a cell phone in middle school, I wish I took her out of public school, I wish I never sent her to therapy, but I didn’t know then how badly this evil cult was taking over the world. I didn’t realize how glued she would continue in the wacky ideology. It’s been five years now.
I’m now just watching and waiting for her to come to a true realization, but she’ll probably go through some self inflicted pain first to later see how this ruined her.
Life isn’t free of pain. Acceptance is freeing.
"Acceptance is freeing." Yes. And as you explain, neither acceptance nor the freedom that comes with it leads to the elimination of pain. Can I encourage you to not think of this experience as ruining her? We're all works in progress, and it's difficult to know what her future holds. If she comes to regret her choice to medicalize, it could be quite dangerous to think of herself as ruined.
Thanks for taking the time to share some of your painful story. My heart goes out to you and your girl.
Right! she wrecked her female body, but not ruined her life. She’s a sweet girl, only she got caught in a very powerful cult.
You wrote about going to bed each night wishing the morning wouldn’t come. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that someone else in this situation has felt that way too. We are about a year in from the big news from my son. I’ve spent many a nights praying that I can be taken and he released from this darkness. During the day I smile and we go about life normally. Nights are hard. He is 17 almost 18. Hasn’t socialized at school, no meds. We love him and wait and see.
This can be a traumatizing experience for parents. I often refer to it as "a dark night of the soul". Unfortunately, I think there's not much out there to help parents come at this in a healthier way--so that anxiety doesn't consume us and affect how we're showing up in our relationship with our kids. This is incredibly destabilizing, and it can be really difficult to recognize what's going well. I hope you're able to let that love and attachment give you some comfort.