Kicking and screaming, I am coming to growth. Untangling maternal enmeshment and really learning the reality of boundaries. I did not ask for my daughter to be trans, but I continue to grow in the face of it. Everyone has a personal journey to navigate - keep going.
I agree, Stoic Mom has offered many valuable insights for us parents. The original conversation between she and I came after I listened to a podcast interview she gave. I found it distressing that even when prompted, she could not/would not acknowledge some crucial information that SO many people are unaware of regarding this madness.
I maintain that this horrific, insane ideology will not be overcome unless we All speak up and out at every opportunity.
Stoic Mom is filling a need. We parents are suffering terribly through this madness while the world around us spins out of control and tells us we are crazy and that they know our children better than we do. I get it.
I simply reacted strongly to an interview she gave several weeks ago with Benjamin Boyce (I think?) Honestly can’t remember. A VERY public forum in which she had A LOT to say……However, not one word about how we got here and what needs to happen to return our beloved children to sanity.
I’m sorry, but right now it’s all bullshit until we stand up and speak the truth.
It’s ABSOLUTELY the most compassionate thing we can do for our children and literally NO ONE ELSE is doing it! You can and you MUST.
"However, not one word about how we got here and what needs to happen to return our beloved children to sanity."
I think this is why it feels we're going around in circles, Charlotte. I do think I'm doing this, but what I'm saying makes no sense to you. It's clear how frustrating you find my words and my approach. But for me to do or say anything different would be disingenuine. You and I are having different experiences and you're seeking something different than I can or want to provide.
I want to express my appreciation again for you taking time to share your thoughts and strong feelings. We all need outlets for these and I'm glad you feel you can share them here. I also wish you all the best and hope you find what you're looking for.
I guess I just would hope that you would acknowledge in some fashion, how we got here, in that you have created a public forum on this topic. So many families are just now being pulled into this nightmare with very young children and they, like me at that time were completely ignorant, frightened and overwhelmed, looking for direction. Yes, we need to take care of ourselves and your contribution to that end is helpful and knowledgeable. Thank you for that.
Like I have said to you before, if we cannot speak the truth and fight for our kids, who will? Obviously our politicians, media, medical professionals, etc have been captured thus far, hoping to be seen as progressive and compassionate.
The MOST compassionate thing we can do for our children is to SPEAK the truth.
This is the only way we are going to stop this cruel madness!
Charlotte, I appreciate the passion in your position and the time you take to share your thoughts with me. I create content for a very specific audience who come to the SMP looking for something different. I promise a respite from the divisiveness and rage, and I intend to keep that promise. I talk a bit more about how I came to this position in “along the way” which you can find in my archives.
Quite some time ago, my young teen daughter and I were talking about the state of the world. She was feeling pretty helpless about something difficult that was happening in the world–I don’t remember exactly what, but she was mad that I wasn’t doing anything about it. I let her know that I believe it's a good idea to pick the thing(s) we're most passionate about and then contribute what feels most productive to us. Otherwise, we tend to succumb to despair and that’s no kind of life. I still think this was a pretty good suggestion.
There are other parent-created Substacks that might feel more satisfying and be more aligned with what you’re hoping to find here. I’d also encourage you to consider starting your own so you can create the content you think needs to be seen.
I think there is a cottage industry of folks discussing "how we got there" and how "to stop this cruel madness!" I am full of that. I need support on how I can keep going without destroying myself in this. I have a life to live that is not just about one of my children. Stoic Mom is the only voice in this and it is immensely refreshing and valuable.
I think Stoic Mom’s position is that her focus is to address the issue from the parent’s attitude and thinking, etc. However, she interjects her own provocative opinions that are triggering for distressed parents. So this begs the question, why does she do this? I feel like the Stoic Mom is starting to sound like a mind controlling cult herself. Would you ask mothers and fathers in Auschwitz if they feel guilty for not leaving the country? And the healthiest and stablest Jewish parent could not protect their child from Dr. Mengele. This is all starting to sound like a 12 step meeting where being upset because your child has been recruited into a self-annihilation cult is your addiction.
Thank you for this feedback, Annabelle. It’s so true that the healthiest and stablest Jewish parent could not protect their child from Dr. Mengele. I think the healthiest and stablest among us were also unable to protect their children from the transgender doctrine that seduced them. I really hope that I’m not communicating that I believe parents shouldn’t be upset by what’s happening with their kids. It still upsets me and I’ve been caught up in this for–shit, 7 years now!
My goal here is to share my own journey and how I’ve applied Stoic principles to help me use this destabilizing circumstance to get clarity around how I want to live my own life and how that’s benefited me. It does seem to resonate for many, and it’s these content testimonials (that can be found in the right sidebar of this Substack) that inspire me to keep creating content for those it’s helping.
There is much wisdom in what you say and write. This is an explosive issue and distraught and distressed parents are inevitable. I appreciate what you wrote here and I’ve read most of your articles and listened to your podcasts (I have a note to listen to “Deep Wisdom and Destiny” from Jan. 23rd again as it’s so good). I apologize for angry statements. You also contend with the overwhelming forces that conspire to destroy our children and families. No one has all the answers to the trials we face. We’re no help to our distressed children if we ourselves are distressed. Modeling strength and maintaining a clear vision is a powerful message.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Charlotte. I agree that something terrible has happened. I’d say it’s been happening for a very long time and the transgender nightmare is just one manifestation of the terrible thing that is happening. I get the sense that you’re carrying some guilt about what our children were sucked into? I don’t agree that we “dropped the ball.” This isn’t your fault. I don’t think you’ll like what I say next, but I don’t believe this is any ONE’s fault. I think we’re experiencing large systemic failures. From my perspective we, as a culture, created the conditions that made our children so vulnerable to the alluring message that you can custom design your body and have a do-over.
I’m curious what you see as the solution? What are you fighting to achieve? I have made a very conscious choice to do the work I’m doing to support parents to heal themselves rather than trying to save other people’s children. (I think those who believed they needed to save my child from me made it really difficult for me to parent her and this greatly diminished my ability to shepherd her through her normal identity exploration.) I believe healthy, stable parents are the solution to much of what ails us.
"I think we’re experiencing large systemic failures. From my perspective we, as a culture, created the conditions that made our children so vulnerable to the alluring message that you can custom design your body and have a do-over." This is an essential message that is not recognized enough by parents. In my desire to see and make change, I do not want to contribute to the culture that created this. Most parents are thinking about things in the realm of laws or schools and homes. But there is a culture of insanity, fear, and aggression that is behind the evolution of this contagion. The children who are doing this are the neurodivergent ones, the ones who are so acutely sensitive to the world around them that they are driven into a kind of madness. They are the canaries in the coal mine, a coal mine we are constructing.
I'm wondering if part of the issue here is the divide between parents of younger kids caught up in this versus the parents of older teens and young adults caught in this? It makes sense to me that the parents of younger kids would be looking for steps that they can take right now to change the course for children that live in their home, under their control. For the parents of older teens and young adults, that kind of influence is not accessible. We may be more interested in figuring out ways to constructively deal with our distress because there's not much we can directly do about our childrens' distress anymore. Just a thought.
Yes, this makes sense to me as well. Thanks for sharing this thought. I forget sometimes to clarify my child is an adult who lives in another state, and I certainly remember the desperation I felt when she was a younger teen and this was all new.
Kicking and screaming, I am coming to growth. Untangling maternal enmeshment and really learning the reality of boundaries. I did not ask for my daughter to be trans, but I continue to grow in the face of it. Everyone has a personal journey to navigate - keep going.
I can relate to the kicking and screaming. Mine may have been more like, "but I grew already! Do I really have more to do?!" Haha! I had no idea...
And "untangling maternal enmeshment" is a kicker, eh? Painful stuff.
Hi Stoic Mom,
I cannot find your email that you sent to me (I hate gmail!!)
I read it in full and wanted to process so much of your thoughts and writing before responding.
Will you resend?
Charlotte
I just responded to an email you sent me. Let me know if that's what you were looking for!
Thanks Stoic Mom……you too. 🙏❤️🤞
I agree, Stoic Mom has offered many valuable insights for us parents. The original conversation between she and I came after I listened to a podcast interview she gave. I found it distressing that even when prompted, she could not/would not acknowledge some crucial information that SO many people are unaware of regarding this madness.
I maintain that this horrific, insane ideology will not be overcome unless we All speak up and out at every opportunity.
Stoic Mom is filling a need. We parents are suffering terribly through this madness while the world around us spins out of control and tells us we are crazy and that they know our children better than we do. I get it.
I simply reacted strongly to an interview she gave several weeks ago with Benjamin Boyce (I think?) Honestly can’t remember. A VERY public forum in which she had A LOT to say……However, not one word about how we got here and what needs to happen to return our beloved children to sanity.
I’m sorry, but right now it’s all bullshit until we stand up and speak the truth.
It’s ABSOLUTELY the most compassionate thing we can do for our children and literally NO ONE ELSE is doing it! You can and you MUST.
"However, not one word about how we got here and what needs to happen to return our beloved children to sanity."
I think this is why it feels we're going around in circles, Charlotte. I do think I'm doing this, but what I'm saying makes no sense to you. It's clear how frustrating you find my words and my approach. But for me to do or say anything different would be disingenuine. You and I are having different experiences and you're seeking something different than I can or want to provide.
I want to express my appreciation again for you taking time to share your thoughts and strong feelings. We all need outlets for these and I'm glad you feel you can share them here. I also wish you all the best and hope you find what you're looking for.
I guess I just would hope that you would acknowledge in some fashion, how we got here, in that you have created a public forum on this topic. So many families are just now being pulled into this nightmare with very young children and they, like me at that time were completely ignorant, frightened and overwhelmed, looking for direction. Yes, we need to take care of ourselves and your contribution to that end is helpful and knowledgeable. Thank you for that.
Like I have said to you before, if we cannot speak the truth and fight for our kids, who will? Obviously our politicians, media, medical professionals, etc have been captured thus far, hoping to be seen as progressive and compassionate.
The MOST compassionate thing we can do for our children is to SPEAK the truth.
This is the only way we are going to stop this cruel madness!
Charlotte, I appreciate the passion in your position and the time you take to share your thoughts with me. I create content for a very specific audience who come to the SMP looking for something different. I promise a respite from the divisiveness and rage, and I intend to keep that promise. I talk a bit more about how I came to this position in “along the way” which you can find in my archives.
Quite some time ago, my young teen daughter and I were talking about the state of the world. She was feeling pretty helpless about something difficult that was happening in the world–I don’t remember exactly what, but she was mad that I wasn’t doing anything about it. I let her know that I believe it's a good idea to pick the thing(s) we're most passionate about and then contribute what feels most productive to us. Otherwise, we tend to succumb to despair and that’s no kind of life. I still think this was a pretty good suggestion.
There are other parent-created Substacks that might feel more satisfying and be more aligned with what you’re hoping to find here. I’d also encourage you to consider starting your own so you can create the content you think needs to be seen.
I think there is a cottage industry of folks discussing "how we got there" and how "to stop this cruel madness!" I am full of that. I need support on how I can keep going without destroying myself in this. I have a life to live that is not just about one of my children. Stoic Mom is the only voice in this and it is immensely refreshing and valuable.
I think Stoic Mom’s position is that her focus is to address the issue from the parent’s attitude and thinking, etc. However, she interjects her own provocative opinions that are triggering for distressed parents. So this begs the question, why does she do this? I feel like the Stoic Mom is starting to sound like a mind controlling cult herself. Would you ask mothers and fathers in Auschwitz if they feel guilty for not leaving the country? And the healthiest and stablest Jewish parent could not protect their child from Dr. Mengele. This is all starting to sound like a 12 step meeting where being upset because your child has been recruited into a self-annihilation cult is your addiction.
Thank you for this feedback, Annabelle. It’s so true that the healthiest and stablest Jewish parent could not protect their child from Dr. Mengele. I think the healthiest and stablest among us were also unable to protect their children from the transgender doctrine that seduced them. I really hope that I’m not communicating that I believe parents shouldn’t be upset by what’s happening with their kids. It still upsets me and I’ve been caught up in this for–shit, 7 years now!
My goal here is to share my own journey and how I’ve applied Stoic principles to help me use this destabilizing circumstance to get clarity around how I want to live my own life and how that’s benefited me. It does seem to resonate for many, and it’s these content testimonials (that can be found in the right sidebar of this Substack) that inspire me to keep creating content for those it’s helping.
There is much wisdom in what you say and write. This is an explosive issue and distraught and distressed parents are inevitable. I appreciate what you wrote here and I’ve read most of your articles and listened to your podcasts (I have a note to listen to “Deep Wisdom and Destiny” from Jan. 23rd again as it’s so good). I apologize for angry statements. You also contend with the overwhelming forces that conspire to destroy our children and families. No one has all the answers to the trials we face. We’re no help to our distressed children if we ourselves are distressed. Modeling strength and maintaining a clear vision is a powerful message.
🙏❤
Bc if we do not speak up, who else will? These are our children and we dropped the ball. They do not come to this organically.
Something terrible has happened and we missed it it at some point.
You cannot fix what you will not acknowledge.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Charlotte. I agree that something terrible has happened. I’d say it’s been happening for a very long time and the transgender nightmare is just one manifestation of the terrible thing that is happening. I get the sense that you’re carrying some guilt about what our children were sucked into? I don’t agree that we “dropped the ball.” This isn’t your fault. I don’t think you’ll like what I say next, but I don’t believe this is any ONE’s fault. I think we’re experiencing large systemic failures. From my perspective we, as a culture, created the conditions that made our children so vulnerable to the alluring message that you can custom design your body and have a do-over.
I’m curious what you see as the solution? What are you fighting to achieve? I have made a very conscious choice to do the work I’m doing to support parents to heal themselves rather than trying to save other people’s children. (I think those who believed they needed to save my child from me made it really difficult for me to parent her and this greatly diminished my ability to shepherd her through her normal identity exploration.) I believe healthy, stable parents are the solution to much of what ails us.
"I think we’re experiencing large systemic failures. From my perspective we, as a culture, created the conditions that made our children so vulnerable to the alluring message that you can custom design your body and have a do-over." This is an essential message that is not recognized enough by parents. In my desire to see and make change, I do not want to contribute to the culture that created this. Most parents are thinking about things in the realm of laws or schools and homes. But there is a culture of insanity, fear, and aggression that is behind the evolution of this contagion. The children who are doing this are the neurodivergent ones, the ones who are so acutely sensitive to the world around them that they are driven into a kind of madness. They are the canaries in the coal mine, a coal mine we are constructing.
Yes. This.
Would it be okay for me to reach out to you via email?
For sure.
Have you watched the after talk of affirmation generation?
Stephanie Winn talks about internet use, yet you only focus on how us parents need to focus on our own mental health to deal with this madness.
You are adding nothing to this madness.
Stop it! Get a reality check stoic mom!
I'm wondering if part of the issue here is the divide between parents of younger kids caught up in this versus the parents of older teens and young adults caught in this? It makes sense to me that the parents of younger kids would be looking for steps that they can take right now to change the course for children that live in their home, under their control. For the parents of older teens and young adults, that kind of influence is not accessible. We may be more interested in figuring out ways to constructively deal with our distress because there's not much we can directly do about our childrens' distress anymore. Just a thought.
Yes, this makes sense to me as well. Thanks for sharing this thought. I forget sometimes to clarify my child is an adult who lives in another state, and I certainly remember the desperation I felt when she was a younger teen and this was all new.
Hey there. This seems familiar. If my content makes you this upset, I'm really curious why you hang around?