Yes, this is inspiring. And leads me in dealing with the unwanted arrival of this ideology into our home, to look in a direction that i've really needed and avoided. I've dealt with my shock and discomfort by going down the rabbit hole and reinforcing my views with others who share my grief/ anger/ hope. But I haven't been sitting with my feelings, allowing them, being honest with my family, being open and transparent, kept my own boundaries, made sure of my own needs. I'm in awe of what you're saying here. I almost understand it...I want to completely understand what you're managing to do- serve the relationship, have your boundaries, care for yourself, have compassion for your daughter.
I am not a parent. But to use the social justice warrior lexicon, I am an ally of parents going through this. Even though I have come to see so many problems with those ideological positions over the past few years, there ARE still some good things, like the concept of allyship for those being harmed in society, even if I am not in that particular boat myself. I decided when I began to be public with my views on these issues that it was because parents needed support, kids needed support, and gay and lesbian people needed support. I needed to care and speak up, even though it wasn't my problem. Yes, I am a woman affected by these cultural changes too, but in truth it's not as impactful in my own life stage and situation, especially in the ways you parents experience.
This is a beautiful and powerful path you share, and one that aligns with my values and approach to life. Valuing connection above all, while honoring yourself and your integrity and honesty as well. Being willing to constantly learn and expand your own compassion. I wanted to let you know this wisdom applies to navigating any relationship where ideas about trans ideology divide us. In the years I have been trying to connect with friends (and sadly, losing friends) over this fraught issue, I have slowly learned some of the same things you express here. With the ones I have not lost but also not convinced, it is because both of us value connection, because we have BOTH practiced some of these skills of self-observation, boundary setting, and mindful communication. After all, they are my friends, and we still share so much. Yes, I wish they would "get it," and yes, I worry that if this storms into their lives, their own kids or grandkids may be hurt if they are not forearmed with a PhD level of information. But the connection is more important, and I have done what I can.
I learned some new helpful nuggets from this essay that I will use myself, so thank you I realize this distress and discomfort I feel with friends and family is nothing compared to what you are describing. Your intention and ability to navigate this with your beloved daughter in this way is so admirable. It is ultimately her life, and your life is yours. Your loving connection may be a lifeline one day--or it may not, but it is essential, even as you experience such sadness, grief, and loss of dreams. That is, after all, life for everyone. I wish for the best for you both. Thanks to Stoic Mom for providing this program and space for parents, I think it is an essential stream of practices and knowledge for parents.
Yes, this is inspiring. And leads me in dealing with the unwanted arrival of this ideology into our home, to look in a direction that i've really needed and avoided. I've dealt with my shock and discomfort by going down the rabbit hole and reinforcing my views with others who share my grief/ anger/ hope. But I haven't been sitting with my feelings, allowing them, being honest with my family, being open and transparent, kept my own boundaries, made sure of my own needs. I'm in awe of what you're saying here. I almost understand it...I want to completely understand what you're managing to do- serve the relationship, have your boundaries, care for yourself, have compassion for your daughter.
Inspired by this. Really needed this today.
Dear Walk with Mom,
I am not a parent. But to use the social justice warrior lexicon, I am an ally of parents going through this. Even though I have come to see so many problems with those ideological positions over the past few years, there ARE still some good things, like the concept of allyship for those being harmed in society, even if I am not in that particular boat myself. I decided when I began to be public with my views on these issues that it was because parents needed support, kids needed support, and gay and lesbian people needed support. I needed to care and speak up, even though it wasn't my problem. Yes, I am a woman affected by these cultural changes too, but in truth it's not as impactful in my own life stage and situation, especially in the ways you parents experience.
This is a beautiful and powerful path you share, and one that aligns with my values and approach to life. Valuing connection above all, while honoring yourself and your integrity and honesty as well. Being willing to constantly learn and expand your own compassion. I wanted to let you know this wisdom applies to navigating any relationship where ideas about trans ideology divide us. In the years I have been trying to connect with friends (and sadly, losing friends) over this fraught issue, I have slowly learned some of the same things you express here. With the ones I have not lost but also not convinced, it is because both of us value connection, because we have BOTH practiced some of these skills of self-observation, boundary setting, and mindful communication. After all, they are my friends, and we still share so much. Yes, I wish they would "get it," and yes, I worry that if this storms into their lives, their own kids or grandkids may be hurt if they are not forearmed with a PhD level of information. But the connection is more important, and I have done what I can.
I learned some new helpful nuggets from this essay that I will use myself, so thank you I realize this distress and discomfort I feel with friends and family is nothing compared to what you are describing. Your intention and ability to navigate this with your beloved daughter in this way is so admirable. It is ultimately her life, and your life is yours. Your loving connection may be a lifeline one day--or it may not, but it is essential, even as you experience such sadness, grief, and loss of dreams. That is, after all, life for everyone. I wish for the best for you both. Thanks to Stoic Mom for providing this program and space for parents, I think it is an essential stream of practices and knowledge for parents.
wow.. unbelievably helpful. truly inspiring. thank you
Where I am with my son.