This is profoundly true. Ultimately, the strongest people who accomplish the most are those who work through pain. That can be firefighters who literally run into fires when anyone would run from them. It can also be someone willing to put themself in an awkward or uncomfortable position, or risk failure in order to get something done, someone willing to have uncomfortable conversations, someone willing to confront their own feelings, etc. Our ROGD kids are acting to avoid emotional pain at all costs, and (ironically) causing themselves unnecessary suffering. I think most detransitioners would agree that it is when they realize that social and emotional discomfort is inevitable that they realize they never needed to put on a mask of "I'm a boy/man - or girl/woman" or "I'm trans," or even "I'm non-binary." They can simply be, and will certainly suffer at times, but the suffering is accompanied by joy and wonder. The mix of pain, joy and wonder is what makes life so amazing.
Anyway, without going on any longer, I just wanted to say I agree that your goal of helping parents see their own path forward is a noble one because it will model this behavior for their confused kids, and a model is the best thing a parent can be. :)
I appreciate this and you! Changing our relationship to pain and difficulty can completely transform our experience. Joy, suffering, wonder, pain--it is truly amazing how rich life can be when our hearts are open to all of it.
This is profoundly true. Ultimately, the strongest people who accomplish the most are those who work through pain. That can be firefighters who literally run into fires when anyone would run from them. It can also be someone willing to put themself in an awkward or uncomfortable position, or risk failure in order to get something done, someone willing to have uncomfortable conversations, someone willing to confront their own feelings, etc. Our ROGD kids are acting to avoid emotional pain at all costs, and (ironically) causing themselves unnecessary suffering. I think most detransitioners would agree that it is when they realize that social and emotional discomfort is inevitable that they realize they never needed to put on a mask of "I'm a boy/man - or girl/woman" or "I'm trans," or even "I'm non-binary." They can simply be, and will certainly suffer at times, but the suffering is accompanied by joy and wonder. The mix of pain, joy and wonder is what makes life so amazing.
Anyway, without going on any longer, I just wanted to say I agree that your goal of helping parents see their own path forward is a noble one because it will model this behavior for their confused kids, and a model is the best thing a parent can be. :)
I appreciate this and you! Changing our relationship to pain and difficulty can completely transform our experience. Joy, suffering, wonder, pain--it is truly amazing how rich life can be when our hearts are open to all of it.