What does it say about you if your son or daughter identifies as transgender? Sit with that a moment. Maybe even write a sentence or two down somewhere to capture how that question makes you feel. What comes up for you? How does it make you feel to discover another parent whose child has desisted? Especially if that parent went to great lengths to facilitate the shift? Does it make you feel like a failure? Does it make you feel a little desperate to create the same result for your child?
Thank you Stoic Mom. I really need this reminder right now.
Sometimes I convince myself that I’ve put down this weight I’ve been carrying - the fear and anger and resentment. But it’s still there. In my pockets. Next to my skin. Heavy and weighing me down. I’m so tired of carrying all this around, but scared to put it down, too.
I had a conversation in my class with a trans identifying female freshman (hs) and I enjoyed how curious I was about what she thought about our Governor vetoing the SAFE Act (she brought it up and was excited). It dawned on me that she really believed policies like this were trying to erase her existence. She let me ask questions (my daughter will not) but again, I noticed how not triggered I was!
We can "know" how we want to be with our children but until we get our emotions/body language to line up, they will mirror that tension and inauthenticity like you said. It takes a lot of work to actually "get there" and be not rocked by their choices - just appreciate every second of relationship you get with them. Mine turns 18 soon...
Honestly, at this point, I don’t even know if it’s fear. I don’t know how to describe it. I’m scared that she’s go full tilt on surgery and hormones, for sure. But it’s the anger, that the whole world has just gone along with this terrible thing.
It’s like, I want to go down fighting. With my boots on. But this is really killing me.
My child is 18 and has left our home country to live across the world with another trans person of a similar age.
Although I’m devastated and very scared for his wellbeing I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that this is his decision. I have no control even though I know he’s making a mistake, he’s heavily online influenced as well as autistic. I can only think good thoughts and keep on supportive (but not affirming) contact.
This situation has nigh on destroyed the relationships that I have with my own family but my child will always come first.
I have a lot of mum guilt that I should have shown him different sources / tried to influence more / taken him offline but I can’t change the past. I can only look forward to a future with my son finding the person he really is whoever that may be.
"I know for myself, I also thought my young children’s happiness was my responsibility, and I likely didn’t support my kids to experience difficult or uncomfortable feelings in a healthy way." - I am so curious about this <3
Thank you Stoic Mom. I really need this reminder right now.
Sometimes I convince myself that I’ve put down this weight I’ve been carrying - the fear and anger and resentment. But it’s still there. In my pockets. Next to my skin. Heavy and weighing me down. I’m so tired of carrying all this around, but scared to put it down, too.
I appreciate you so much. :-)
I had a conversation in my class with a trans identifying female freshman (hs) and I enjoyed how curious I was about what she thought about our Governor vetoing the SAFE Act (she brought it up and was excited). It dawned on me that she really believed policies like this were trying to erase her existence. She let me ask questions (my daughter will not) but again, I noticed how not triggered I was!
We can "know" how we want to be with our children but until we get our emotions/body language to line up, they will mirror that tension and inauthenticity like you said. It takes a lot of work to actually "get there" and be not rocked by their choices - just appreciate every second of relationship you get with them. Mine turns 18 soon...
Honestly, at this point, I don’t even know if it’s fear. I don’t know how to describe it. I’m scared that she’s go full tilt on surgery and hormones, for sure. But it’s the anger, that the whole world has just gone along with this terrible thing.
It’s like, I want to go down fighting. With my boots on. But this is really killing me.
My child is 18 and has left our home country to live across the world with another trans person of a similar age.
Although I’m devastated and very scared for his wellbeing I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that this is his decision. I have no control even though I know he’s making a mistake, he’s heavily online influenced as well as autistic. I can only think good thoughts and keep on supportive (but not affirming) contact.
This situation has nigh on destroyed the relationships that I have with my own family but my child will always come first.
I have a lot of mum guilt that I should have shown him different sources / tried to influence more / taken him offline but I can’t change the past. I can only look forward to a future with my son finding the person he really is whoever that may be.
"I know for myself, I also thought my young children’s happiness was my responsibility, and I likely didn’t support my kids to experience difficult or uncomfortable feelings in a healthy way." - I am so curious about this <3
Excellent reminders! The boost I needed. TYSM