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Aubrey's avatar

One year into this drama, I am now discovering The Stoic Mom Project. I think this is surely where I need to place my energies now. This interview made me think about the opportunity for the dads. So much of what I’ve read is that while the moms are getting the PhD in gender studies, the dads remain silent. This is certainly the case in our home. Maybe that gives them the capacity to start out by being neutral and curious. Not that us moms can’t get there, but it’s not where many of us started. This new approach will take some time, practice and maybe some backpedaling. Great interview!

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StoicMom's avatar

Thank you, and I'm glad you found your way here, Aubrey! If you need help finding something specific, please let me know.

Thank goodness for the dads and their lack of emotionality! I think we, the moms, often escalate the situation with our fear-driven behaviors. I think Dads, for the most part, are wired to remain practical; they have to compartmentalize to continue to function and perform their role in the family. Of course, these are broad generalizations, but I'm certainly seeing this commonality among the families I work with. While it was upsetting for awhile that my husband disconnected from this while I was going through such an intense experience, I now see the benefits and the relationship that has emerged between him and my daughter is both surprising and sweet. Took a bit, but now, in her early adulthood, she reaches out to him for support and I'm so grateful.

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crookedline99's avatar

When you remove your breasts for gender you are in the thick of an identity crisis. I agree that is the more vital element. Will removing your breasts and convincing the world you're a different sex help you actually find yourself? Will it be worth it?

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StoicMom's avatar

Hi there, crookedline99. Thanks for the comment. It's been a bit since I've listened to this one. I'd love to respond, but I might need a little more context. An interesting question, "Will it be worth it?" I know moms desperately want to prevent irreversible body modifications, and we all grapple with how much we can actually do to influence our kids as they're naturally trying out the cultural compass that has removed the guardrails on this one.

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Feb 11, 2023
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StoicMom's avatar

Isn't it interesting, the power of belief/certainty?!

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Feb 11, 2023
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StoicMom's avatar

Hoping to have Pat back soon! The new online community platform for the SMP is still under construction, but is accepting new members... ;) More info at the SMP Community Center tab! This is where Pat's workshop and other live, growth-oriented events will happen.

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