That's a good question. I like the idea of picking it apart. I am mostly just tired and when I get tired I overthink things. I am going to get back on my horse and move on. Hopefully one day things will change. Lack of sleep doesn't help. Overall, I believe I need to be more grateful for this big step. I hope to make any future steps as easy as possible. Thanks!
I have been lurking for quite some time and am now in a semi estranged stage. Our daughter now has changed back to a feminine young woman, no longer taking on a male persona. She came home just for a day with some gifts, a visit with my parents who are aging and quite ill. She looked great. Everyone but me seems to have some sort of communication yet I remain left out. Is this common for mothers? She also has obviously stopped medicalization and doing well. She might have one foot in the community. To be honest, I'm tired of waiting for her to see me and my deep longing to be close again. I have started randomly breaking out in tears again as I thought this meant more than it seems and have gone down the depression rabbit hole. I'm not sure how much more I can carry. She's different now and not anxious to be in my life. I have a supportive husband/family all of them have contact info. I have nothing and have to ask what's happening. I am a planner and want to keep the fire burning while others seem content as is, no contact, and no encouragement from any sides. One has even stated I should just forget about her. She was loving with my parents while I observed. Any advice?
Hi there. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably here. I can hear the longing and confusion in your description of the state of your relationship with your daughter. Not knowing you or your situation beyond your description here, what mostly comes up for me are questions. It sounds like maybe you believe you need something from her to feel whole and complete? If she also senses this need, it might actually be contributing to the space between you. Is it possible she's waiting for you to take the lead on relationship repair?
That's a good question. I like the idea of picking it apart. I am mostly just tired and when I get tired I overthink things. I am going to get back on my horse and move on. Hopefully one day things will change. Lack of sleep doesn't help. Overall, I believe I need to be more grateful for this big step. I hope to make any future steps as easy as possible. Thanks!
I have been lurking for quite some time and am now in a semi estranged stage. Our daughter now has changed back to a feminine young woman, no longer taking on a male persona. She came home just for a day with some gifts, a visit with my parents who are aging and quite ill. She looked great. Everyone but me seems to have some sort of communication yet I remain left out. Is this common for mothers? She also has obviously stopped medicalization and doing well. She might have one foot in the community. To be honest, I'm tired of waiting for her to see me and my deep longing to be close again. I have started randomly breaking out in tears again as I thought this meant more than it seems and have gone down the depression rabbit hole. I'm not sure how much more I can carry. She's different now and not anxious to be in my life. I have a supportive husband/family all of them have contact info. I have nothing and have to ask what's happening. I am a planner and want to keep the fire burning while others seem content as is, no contact, and no encouragement from any sides. One has even stated I should just forget about her. She was loving with my parents while I observed. Any advice?
Hi there. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably here. I can hear the longing and confusion in your description of the state of your relationship with your daughter. Not knowing you or your situation beyond your description here, what mostly comes up for me are questions. It sounds like maybe you believe you need something from her to feel whole and complete? If she also senses this need, it might actually be contributing to the space between you. Is it possible she's waiting for you to take the lead on relationship repair?