When my daughter was 13, I had a friend of mine who was also the mother of one of my daughter’s peers, tell me that my girl was using a boy’s name in her friend group. This woman shared with me her daughter’s written guest list for her upcoming birthday party in which every girl invited was recorded as how she identified along the rainbow. We were already having a rough year–my daughter’s 8th grade year–and this news seemed pretty silly at first. Then I started researching. I found Transgender Trend, 4th Wave Now, and writings by Lisa Marchiano and the reality of what we might be dealing with sunk in. And I became terrified. Then an incident happened during which my daughter hinted that she was considering or might already have begun harming herself. I was an educator and fairly confident mother who prided myself in my liberal mindset and in my healthy relationships with my children. When I reflect, this was the moment my confidence dropped out and I started to really doubt myself as a mother.
Dear Stoic Mom, I don't know if you still see comments from your posts of months ago, but just in case you can, here it goes. This post is the one I needed to read. It took a while for me to subscribe - I've known in my heart that your writing would be a saving grace for me, but it took a while to take that step. This article speaks so deeply to my heart and my need for support to become the mother my daughter needs me to be. I'm only just starting to step away from the rage and the fear, and recognize that I have to respond differently in order to save my relationship with my daughter. Your experiences echo so many of my own, your daughter sounds so similar to mine, and the work you've done to come to this place where you are inspiring and helping others is, I think, going to be a life-line for me. Thank you for that. It is Canadian Thanksgiving here, and I am deeply grateful for women like you, Stella, Sasha and Lisa. Please keep writing and helping us find the light within.
Dear Stoic Mom, I don't know if you still see comments from your posts of months ago, but just in case you can, here it goes. This post is the one I needed to read. It took a while for me to subscribe - I've known in my heart that your writing would be a saving grace for me, but it took a while to take that step. This article speaks so deeply to my heart and my need for support to become the mother my daughter needs me to be. I'm only just starting to step away from the rage and the fear, and recognize that I have to respond differently in order to save my relationship with my daughter. Your experiences echo so many of my own, your daughter sounds so similar to mine, and the work you've done to come to this place where you are inspiring and helping others is, I think, going to be a life-line for me. Thank you for that. It is Canadian Thanksgiving here, and I am deeply grateful for women like you, Stella, Sasha and Lisa. Please keep writing and helping us find the light within.