August in the SMP
My end-of-summer getaway
As the end of summer barrels toward us, I’ll be taking a break and be mostly unplugged from August 25th through September 4. On the 25th, my husband, my son and his girlfriend, and I will head out on a road trip to visit our girl who we haven’t seen since she moved to a neighboring state–returning to the city where she spent her first 16 years of life.
This will be a very interesting experience as my daughter’s worlds will collide that same weekend. While we’re roadtripping there, my best friend of 30 years and her husband will beat us there via airplane from SoCal. My children have known these friends their whole lives and they’ve played a significant role similar to that of close, extended family. When last all four of us visited them, November 2022 and the first time they’d seen my daughter since before COVID, he met us at our vehicle and as we were unloading to come in, he asked her, “What should we call you?” (I kinda wanted to punch him.) But she looked down, mumbled, “what my parents do” and that was the end of that; she relaxed into a week of being the girl she always was to them and us.
So–we’ll see how this goes. Our extra passenger, my son’s girlfriend who shared a learning community with both my kids for two years before she and my son started dating, uses my daughter’s preferred name which is how she was introduced to my oldest kid. My son has made it clear to me that his girlfriend has passionate views when it comes to communicating with and about trans people. Her older sister also identifies as something other than a girl, though I’m a little unclear on the details. And of course, my daughter’s roommates are all members of the new religion.
Part of the reason for meeting up where she lives is so we can all have a shared vacation experience while also checking out my daughter’s new adult life, (and she can’t really afford to take time off to meet up with us anywhere else so we’re going to her.) This is the first time we’re all seeing her since she made the move. And the first time she’s had to deal with the mixed company of those who’ve known her all her life and those who she believes see her as a boy. Should be interesting! I’m really curious how she’ll navigate this…
This part of my adventure will just span that first weekend, then my husband will return home with the teens so they can all get back to work, and I’ll rent a car to continue on to visit my mom and hopefully see all six of the siblings that still live near her. My husband is going to rendezvous with me the following weekend to wrap up my vacation with a couple days of camping, and then home for the transition into Fall.
Sponsored!
This month I published my first ever sponsored episode of conversations with stoic mamas along the way, part of a series of conversations with moms who’ve consciously chosen to shift the way they’re relating to this circumstance; using the context of parenting a trans-identified child to inspire personal healing and growth. This was the first of four episodes to be sponsored by Dreamschool. Brought to you by the creators of This Jungian Life, Dreamschool is a year-long dream interpretation course designed to teach you how to “decode the language of metaphor and symbol, and harness the power of your unconscious wisdom.” Stoicmom subscribers can get 15% off tuition with the coupon code: STOICMOM15 Go to https://thisjungianlife.com/join-dream-school/ to learn more and enroll.
From the Archives: a different way
That first episode, Changing the Dance, was with graduated coaching client, Regina, whose situation differs somewhat from the typical mom who finds their way to the SMP. I think it’s so important to hear stories that capture the many different family constellations who are affected by this new religion and know that there are healthy ways to navigate and keep our families together. I encourage you to listen to Regina’s story and discover how she “changed the dance” and the impact that’s had on her experience and the health of her family.
This is essentially the focus of The StoicMom Project: to offer a different way to families who find themselves stuck, or see the fabric of their lives unraveling as a result of the divisive messages that pervade our culture. I don’t think it has to be this way–I don’t think there are only two options: 1) Get on board, or 2) Take a stand and fight. I think there’s a third way. I think when tragedy strikes, we can change our relationship to what’s happening and recognize an invitation to healing and wholeness, resilience and authenticity, meaning and purpose.
My most recent articles, Why me? and Eudaimonia both discuss this other way as I have experienced it. Below are more articles and conversations from the SMP archives that capture my own shift toward “unilateral disarmament” and how it feels to change the way I relate to this destabilizing experience:
Perceiving a Higher Path - Jessie Mannisto interviews StoicMom
Current SMP Theme
While I’ve made a few different lists of ideas that might serve as monthly themes to explore, I find I never even reference them when it’s time to launch a new theme in the online community. I always wait until the last minute and allow the theme to emerge–it tends to be what’s really alive for me right then or it happens synchronistically, with things crossing my path that all point to the same idea, or there’s a clear need to dive in a bit deeper and explore/explain something. This is part of that magic of flow, of letting go and allowing rather than forcing. It really is a different way of relating to this Life experience–and I couldn’t love it more. This month’s theme is the INVITATION. Yes, we’re talking about how this destabilizing experience can be an invitation into this different way I keep raving about.
I’m looking forward to discovering how this theme unfolds within the community. If you’re interested in joining this amazing group of moms embracing this INVITATION, you can learn more about what you’ll find on the inside and how to apply here:
https://the-stoicmom-project.mn.co/
(Be sure to scroll down below the header image.)
May you all relish these last weeks of summer and enjoy the heck out of your families! Isn’t this what Life’s about? I’ll “see ya” in the Fall.
Wow, sounds like quite a trip. I’ll be thinking of you, it could be pretty difficult I imagine.