So, this term, “Agent of Futility” came from a parenting class offered by the Neufeld Institute. It was an excellent class that aligned well with my understanding of attachment, giving me additional concepts and language to support the intuitive parenting style I seemed compelled to use.
"what’s on my mind right now is, have I done all I could? Is there anything left to say? Have I missed anything? Could I still snap her out of this? Did I protect the pathway home and for her to reclaim womanhood? Have I…could I…did I…? "
This echoes in my head daily as my daughter speeds toward turning 18 in Sept. All of that. And also, urgently trying to figure out a miracle sentence or article or video, that will turn all of this around in these next 3 months. The clock is ticking. Getting louder and louder as if in a horror movie. This month marks 4 years that we have been struggling through this. I hold too tightly to the hope that she can critically think her way out of this. That if I just drop enough seeds, the doubts will grow and blossom.
I’d like to know if you have any information about the side effects of stopping menstruation all together? Both my NB identifies daughters are doing this and started one at 18 and the other at 16 without telling me.
I am quite seriously as impressed as hell with the thoroughness, breadth, and depth of your commitment to your kids. And to other parents and their kids in similar situations. I can well imagine the devastation that it causes, though it really doesn't take a lot of imagination given the ubiquity of horrific tales describing it.
Not sure what might be the worst feature of it, though Shakespeare's "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child" may provide some inklings - something which I think you've periodically alluded to.
However, while I've sort of asked this question before, I have to say that this statement of yours is almost totally unfathomable:
"... they lie to her and encourage her to believe she can be–no, is somehow–a boy."
Surely, you've explained to her, her high school biology teachers have explained to her that to be a female is to have functioning ovaries? That to be a male (and a post-pubescent boy) is to have functioning testicles? That she doesn't possess and won't ever possess the latter? That therefore she simply can never be a male and a boy?
Though the "cognitive distortion" associated with the phenomenon is legendary and all-encompassing. I've had a few exchanges with "Kimberleg" who is apparently a young woman - she's said she has functioning ovaries - but who seems to be shading over into insisting she has a "male gender identity". It's in a YouTube video by UK MP Miriam Cates who is asking, "Should 'Non Binary' be recognised in law as a gender identity?":
But a comment by Kimberleg seems to provide something of an insight into that distortion:
"... but any 'identity' does not necessarily have physical or biological evidence, it is part of who you are as a person, an individual. It's not about agreeing, it's about respect."
Though I'm not sure whether that link is entirely solid - her comment there above doesn't show up in with the rest of our conversation linked here below; maybe she or YouTube are hiding it somehow:
But as I've argued in that linked comment, she and far too many others seem reluctant to consider that social rights and benefits tend to be contingent on being members of particular categories with objective criteria for category membership. And that "gender identity" - to the extent there's no "physical or biological evidence" for being in the claimed state - simply can not be given any credence at all.
But maybe that's part and parcel of what you mean by "Agents of Futility".
I would like to ask if there is any good article to recommend to read for my son, so he can maybe get an understanding of what is the operation about and how dangerous it is etc
"what’s on my mind right now is, have I done all I could? Is there anything left to say? Have I missed anything? Could I still snap her out of this? Did I protect the pathway home and for her to reclaim womanhood? Have I…could I…did I…? "
This echoes in my head daily as my daughter speeds toward turning 18 in Sept. All of that. And also, urgently trying to figure out a miracle sentence or article or video, that will turn all of this around in these next 3 months. The clock is ticking. Getting louder and louder as if in a horror movie. This month marks 4 years that we have been struggling through this. I hold too tightly to the hope that she can critically think her way out of this. That if I just drop enough seeds, the doubts will grow and blossom.
I’d like to know if you have any information about the side effects of stopping menstruation all together? Both my NB identifies daughters are doing this and started one at 18 and the other at 16 without telling me.
I am quite seriously as impressed as hell with the thoroughness, breadth, and depth of your commitment to your kids. And to other parents and their kids in similar situations. I can well imagine the devastation that it causes, though it really doesn't take a lot of imagination given the ubiquity of horrific tales describing it.
Not sure what might be the worst feature of it, though Shakespeare's "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child" may provide some inklings - something which I think you've periodically alluded to.
However, while I've sort of asked this question before, I have to say that this statement of yours is almost totally unfathomable:
"... they lie to her and encourage her to believe she can be–no, is somehow–a boy."
Surely, you've explained to her, her high school biology teachers have explained to her that to be a female is to have functioning ovaries? That to be a male (and a post-pubescent boy) is to have functioning testicles? That she doesn't possess and won't ever possess the latter? That therefore she simply can never be a male and a boy?
Though the "cognitive distortion" associated with the phenomenon is legendary and all-encompassing. I've had a few exchanges with "Kimberleg" who is apparently a young woman - she's said she has functioning ovaries - but who seems to be shading over into insisting she has a "male gender identity". It's in a YouTube video by UK MP Miriam Cates who is asking, "Should 'Non Binary' be recognised in law as a gender identity?":
But a comment by Kimberleg seems to provide something of an insight into that distortion:
"... but any 'identity' does not necessarily have physical or biological evidence, it is part of who you are as a person, an individual. It's not about agreeing, it's about respect."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HMjnPc_O6M&lc=UgxCOpXABzqX3VIYTRl4AaABAg.9bUppNxyWgO9bcWpCPpCaA
Though I'm not sure whether that link is entirely solid - her comment there above doesn't show up in with the rest of our conversation linked here below; maybe she or YouTube are hiding it somehow:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HMjnPc_O6M&lc=UgxCOpXABzqX3VIYTRl4AaABAg.9bUppNxyWgO9bcSjvCx68H
But as I've argued in that linked comment, she and far too many others seem reluctant to consider that social rights and benefits tend to be contingent on being members of particular categories with objective criteria for category membership. And that "gender identity" - to the extent there's no "physical or biological evidence" for being in the claimed state - simply can not be given any credence at all.
But maybe that's part and parcel of what you mean by "Agents of Futility".
I would like to ask if there is any good article to recommend to read for my son, so he can maybe get an understanding of what is the operation about and how dangerous it is etc