Me: Is your day pretty full? It's been awhile since I heard your voice. I have an appt at 1 but thought I might try to call you later if you're not busy.
Her: my plan was to watch TV all day but i bet I can move some TV watching around
I just share this part because I think it’s hilarious. I love my daughter’s quirky sense of humor. We actually hadn’t spoken on the phone since before our in-person Christmas visit. Because she couldn’t afford to take off work and spend the holiday here with us, we traveled to her for a few days.
This particular text exchange happened yesterday, followed a bit later by, what was for me anyway, an absolutely lovely 2-hour conversation. When some of my clients tell me how often they speak with their adult children, I occasionally feel a slight pang. But then, I have a conversation with my girl like the one I had yesterday and I’m filled with gratitude for where we are.
It’s a familiar place. Vague, but familiar: my own relationship with my mom when I was my daughter’s age. I was off living my life, while my mom went about hers. She had plenty on her plate with many more children still at home. She didn’t have time to monitor and judge what was going on for me. I’m grateful for that. In that lack of monitoring, there was a certain confidence communicated that I could handle it–and by “it”, I mean whatever Life threw my way.
I also always knew that if things got too intense, I could come home. But I was not inclined to do so. Though, I guess I did come home for a couple weeks in my 32nd year as I made a huge transition in my life. Just passing through as I consciously and quite thoroughly left my old life behind and began a new era.
So back to yesterday’s conversation. Actually, before going there, I’m realizing that it might be important to share that the previous night I had a dream about my daughter and cars again. Cars in dreams often represent how we’re moving through life, and I pay attention to the themes of my dreams. I found this one very comforting–my dreams seem to like to offer this to me on occasion.