So, this is the way I tend to roll. I get a hare-brained idea (wow, typing that makes me think of my late father; he said that phrase often, “hare-brained idea”) and I put it out there. (Like the invitation I extended in May’s newsletter to join us in our private online coaching community, newly renamed The SMP Tapestry.) And it sets off a chain of events that seem divinely timed.
I’ve been stuck for awhile in obstacles that were keeping me from inviting new members into our private community, and once I decided to just invite anyway, the path unfolded before me and continues to reveal itself. Suddenly, the immediate tasks are clear—the vision too. I find this incredibly satisfying and meaningful and it certainly keeps me moving this ball down the court without too much attention going to self-doubt and the resulting sabotage. Is this TMI? It’s probably TMI. And was that just yesterday? I think I’m in a time warp—again.
I’m writing this one as a reminder that there is a brief opening through the end of May for new members. We’ve been focusing our theme explorations on focus, attention, and story. June will be perfect timing to orient both current and new members to the new structure and story of the community that is evolving to meet the various needs of our membership.
It’s important to note that this is NOT your typical support group for parents of TI kids. I wouldn’t even call it a support group. It is not designed to catch mamas who are new to this circumstance and in the early stages of destabilization where your fury and desperation are heightened and raw. It is not a mental health intervention nor is it parenting guidance for families in crisis. It is also not an activism group for gender critical moms.
Rather the SMP recognizes the ‘dark night of the soul’ not only as a universal human experience, but as an important one whose purpose it to break our hearts open. If conditions are conducive, we’ll be invited to examine and let go of old patterns, attitudes, and stories that are no longer serving us. We’ll discover our power to author our stories more intentionally and claim our agency to create rich, meaningful lives.
Typically, a mom surrenders to this work when she feels like she’s been throwing herself over and over at a brick wall that’s not going anywhere. She’s been suspended in a state of futility, clinging to the illusion that she can change the world for her child (or if she sees it’s too late for hers, she’ll damn well change it for other people’s children. You can read a little about my own experience of this here.)
If your main aim is to change external circumstances, I’m pretty sure the SMP will just make you feel crazier. There are plenty of other spaces that would welcome your participation and even support you to work toward changing systems and policies if this is what feels most productive and aligned for you. You can read more about where I’ve landed with all this here.
If instead, you’re discovering that this orientation seems to be making it harder for you to connect with your loved ones and feel grounded and healthy in the world, you might find the very different approach we offer at the SMP through our Tapestry online group coaching community to be what you’re craving.
Note that this is considered a coaching community rather than a support group. While we make space for the grief that is present, and all are encouraged to trust their own pacing (you may still be in your descent,) this is more than simply a community of moms going through the same thing. It is carefully designed with curated resources, intentional moderation, and (sometimes challenging) coaching prompts. The purpose of this design is to create the conditions that allow you to move through the process of futility and emerge from the darkness with renewed vitality, faith in your inner authority, and expanded capacity for the full human experience.
What results if you’re persistently showing up for yourself, and allowing the old ways to unravel through consistent presence in a different paradigm, is less time spent in your head and more time listening to your heart. This in turn leads to healthier ways of being in relationship to self, others, and external circumstances.
I want to reiterate that every mom’s pacing is different because what each mom brings in with them is unique. Yet, just shifting your focus in the way we encourage can provide quick relief. Here are what some members have said about the vibe they notice once inside,
What a relief to not have to be in control anymore! So many things to do and experience and enjoy in the world now that I'm not controlling it any longer!
Yesterdays meeting just felt like a warm hug. Actually, it feels like a warm hug every time I hop on here. I really really appreciate the guidelines and parameters that you put in place for the SMP. I am drawn to the news/the politics/the rabbit hole and yet I find it to be incredibly unhelpful--coming here instead where I'm encouraged to encounter my feelings-- to stay open and curious -- a much better fit for me and my inner experience of the world.
It has been very interesting to me how the monthly themes have aligned pretty specifically with directions I am feeling my spirit pulled towards. And I’ve only been a member for three months!
Readiness is key to getting benefit from the SMP approach and membership in The Tapestry. Being open to something different is the number one criteria. Then choosing to invest and commit to this new way sends a powerful message to your psyche that you’re ready. The application prompts can also help you to know whether you’re ready to step into something that feels so very different than what you’ve likely been doing. Here’s the application, if you’d like to give it peek:
As mentioned in yesterday’s post, I know there are also plenty of other moms who’ve identified this same path of inner work and may feel isolated in it, with few who understand this orientation that makes the world seem wondrous and brand new. We’d be thrilled to offer you community! There are resources meant to support those who are further along in this journey, and would like to be in the company of like-oriented moms engaging in the exquisite ache and awe of this particular phase of Motherhood— and how, if we surrender to it, our worlds transform.
NOTE: This is not currently a rolling admissions program. This particular opening will last through the end of May.