Thanks for writing this! I’m relatively new to Catholicism and I find that going to confession and regularly acknowledging that I am a sinner is very helpful to keep myself in check, much like you talk about in this piece. I did initially find myself wanting to push back on admitting that I have evil in my heart, but now it feels freeing.
I now feel like I can be someone who is free from the idea that I'm supposed to be a perfect person. The shame of having dark or "evil" thoughts, or even sometimes acting on those thoughts doesn't weigh on me like it used to. Knowing that it's to be expected given our fallen state--and that we have a guide on how to live in the light--has been incredibly liberating. I also find immense comfort in knowing that if I confess with a contrite heart and do penance, I am forgiven.
I've heard that a person cannot feel or understand joy until they've felt despair. And a person cannot know what love is until one experiences the lack of it. One needs the opposite in order to define or recognize it.
I do believe in free will, and that people have the ability to make choices, but it also seems true that much of what a person does will come from the product of their experiences. This knowledge has helped me have more tolerance and patience with others.
And I can I acknowledge that good and evil both reside in me.
But there is the danger to becoming immobilized, to doubt my motivations, doubt my values.
As a woman, as a mother, as a compassionate person, I have so often tried to see the other person's point of view. However, I am deeply challenged to do this in regards to the medicalization of gender, the extent and proliferation of gender medicine/surgery/ideology.
"But there is the danger to becoming immobilized, to doubt my motivations, doubt my values." There's so much in this sentence. Immobilized? How so? I think examining our motivations might actually be wise. I also think life will demand that we grapple with our values--often our values will compete with each other and we'll need to determine which is the stronger value that keeps us in integrity. Is this the same as doubting your values? Maybe this line of thinking doesn't speak to what you meant? Hopefully it's okay for me to ask what you find so deeply challenging about trying to see the other person's POV when it comes to the medicalization of gender, etc.? Of course, don't feel you need to answer any of this here. Just some thoughts and questions that came to my mind as I read your comment.
One phrase stands out to me in this article, and it appears at the end of the article: "believing the lie". As time passes I have come to see evil as a straw man. The way to defeat it is simply to stop believing in it. Once we figure it out, it simply dissolves and becomes air. We don't have to give evil a home. It sounds to me like you are in a continuous game of arm-wrestling. Maybe the solution is simply to stop wrestling.
At the risk of sounding condescending, I feel very strongly that what's needed in the world is a larger perspective. We human beings are trapped in our terrors, partly because physical reality is an unpredictable place. We need to step back from what we are, which would allow us to see that we are not what we think we are. So at the risk of branding myself as Mr. Know-It-All Metaphysical Man, I want to remind everyone (and myself) that we are immortal beings who exist outside of all of the considerations we have about ourselves and about other people. Our physical universe is a stage in which we act out our issues, and in the process we resolve our misunderstandings. When the play is over, we simply walk away from it and become embroiled in a new play with new issues to be resolved. We reincarnate, and each life represents a play with the physical universe as the stage.
An interesting thing that is happening now is the emergence of near-death experiences (NDEs). Near-death experiences have always been with humanity, but in the past the near-death experiencers (NDErs) were put in insane asylums or burned as witches. Society is now listening to them. What they are showing us is that we are immortal, that reincarnation is real, and that anything is possible. Stepping away from evil concepts is something that we all ultimately do.
The people in our lives who represent evil -- Putin is my big obsession right now, even more than Trump who is trying to upend democracy -- are people we have invited into our lives. The time will come when we stop inviting bad people into our lives. Indeed, the time will come when the physical lives stop because we don't need them any more.
It's important to understand reincarnation. On my personal blog, I give an example. Imagine yourself to be a fish in the ocean. The ocean represents God because the ocean was necessary for the fish to evolve. So the ocean gave birth to the fish, yet the ocean is also the fish's environment. So the fish lives a life in the ocean. If a barracuda comes along and eats the fish, the fish isn't dead. It simply reincarnates -- and may even reincarnate as a barracuda. Not only that, the fish will have chosen the time and manner of its death. So nothing is lost. Indeed, because there is no time within God, and past/present/future exist simultaneously, the fish's life continues to exist for others to witness or experience for themselves.
All I'm trying to say is that we need to see that we are larger than our current circumstances. There is no current life circumstance that doesn't at some point resolve itself or drop away. If you have lost a child to transgenderism, then yes, you have to deal with the emotions that that engenders, and you learn from it; but in your next life, that child may be your father or mother or a sibling or a friend. We are all more than we think we are.
I suspect we share a similar metaphysical understanding and are even saying similar things. "Maybe the solution is to simply stop wrestling." Indeed. And yet, what's happening when we find ourselves wrestling even in our determination to stop? I've come to understand this as our shadow work. (See my piece On Suffering.) There are parts of ourselves we need to meet, and I think this is how they let us know about them. So this is where that loving gaze comes in. "Oh, I see you. I see the vulnerable part of me that needs a bad guy out there to project my own 'badness' onto." I guess I'd say, rather than "simply stop wrestling" which sounds like an attempt to control or suppress something in ourselves, what happens when we DO something, attempt to understand the underlying reasons for that which we judge (which is not the same thing as allowing or tolerating them,) apply the loving gaze that I describe in the piece?
I think you are the first person who has taken one of my metaphysical rants seriously. Thank you for that.
Regarding my "simply stop wrestling" comment, let me explain a bit. I'm old enough (almost 76) to have experienced the dropping-away of bad habits and patterns, and that has given me the insight that once a pattern has been understood and unknotted (i.e., has outlived its usefulness), it simply evaporates, allowing me to move on to the next pattern/knot to be dealt with. There's no way, of course, to force myself to get to that place -- I simply have to let the pattern play out until it loses power. We don't release the bad habits by force of will. They fall away naturally when the driving emotions behind them are understood and demystified, and usually the biggest emotion (in my experience) is fear. Fear seems to factor into everything. (Sorry if I'm being redundant.)
I've never been focussed too much on evil in my life, although I see it all around me in the world. I learned fairly early that the root of all evil is simple ignorance. People who do evil are people who don't understand complexities.
I just reread parts of your article, and the language you use is a little different from what I might use, so there are things you said that I didn't entirely grasp. Being basically a simple-minded thinker, as I am, perhaps you understand some complexities better than I do.
So, do you believe in reincarnation? Near-death experiences are very exciting to me because a significant number of NDErs come back having remembered some of their past lives.
Yes, "they fall away naturally". I think you describe this well--when a pattern becomes unknotted, it loses its power over us. And yes, I think fear will be the main driving force in our lives until we start to look at our own patterns, owning and untangling them.
I'm not sure what I believe other than in a bigger story like you mentioned in your initial comment--and in my puny human perspective that couldn't possibly understand the Mystery. That said, I do find myself very drawn to content about NDEs and how their experiences might help us be a little less fearful. I think we do much damage when our lives are driven by fear.
I imagine a world where we have a healthier relationship with death (an integral part of Life) and our shadow.
I've been reading about NDEs since Raymond Moody published his first book about them in 1975. In my view, they provide absolute proof that we survive death. NDEs plus some other metaphysical sources I believe in (the Seth Material, the Cayce readings, the Spirits Book, and the Swedenborg books) combine to create a believable and amazing picture of what existence is all about. This is the REAL "Good News". I want to say more, but if I do, I'll be up typing for two hours. Let me just say, in a nutshell, that we reincarnate for a series of physical lives that allow us to evolve spiritually. Once reincarnation has done for us all it can, we move permanently into the afterlife, where we exist in a more spiritual form (much more pleasant than being physical), and where we are immortal. It sounds like fantasy, but it is all true.
Now, I have forgotten what your story is. You have a son or daughter who is trans? I may have read your story, but the details have slipped my mind. Can you lead me to an article on your Substack which summarizes the situation? (Actually, let me take a look right now.) I may be confusing you with Hippiesq, who has a daughter in her early twenties.
Thank you for this, so many wonderful points. I had heard the Solzhenitsyn quote before but never understood the point he (and now you) were making. Your exploration here reminds me of a short talk I found when researching political division, you may find it an interesting corollary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qwDNIpJhYc
Thanks for writing this! I’m relatively new to Catholicism and I find that going to confession and regularly acknowledging that I am a sinner is very helpful to keep myself in check, much like you talk about in this piece. I did initially find myself wanting to push back on admitting that I have evil in my heart, but now it feels freeing.
"but now it feels freeing." Would you mind saying a little more? Who does it free you to be?
I now feel like I can be someone who is free from the idea that I'm supposed to be a perfect person. The shame of having dark or "evil" thoughts, or even sometimes acting on those thoughts doesn't weigh on me like it used to. Knowing that it's to be expected given our fallen state--and that we have a guide on how to live in the light--has been incredibly liberating. I also find immense comfort in knowing that if I confess with a contrite heart and do penance, I am forgiven.
"free from the idea that I'm supposed to be a perfect person" So liberating.
Thanks you for this important piece!
I've heard that a person cannot feel or understand joy until they've felt despair. And a person cannot know what love is until one experiences the lack of it. One needs the opposite in order to define or recognize it.
I do believe in free will, and that people have the ability to make choices, but it also seems true that much of what a person does will come from the product of their experiences. This knowledge has helped me have more tolerance and patience with others.
And I can I acknowledge that good and evil both reside in me.
But there is the danger to becoming immobilized, to doubt my motivations, doubt my values.
As a woman, as a mother, as a compassionate person, I have so often tried to see the other person's point of view. However, I am deeply challenged to do this in regards to the medicalization of gender, the extent and proliferation of gender medicine/surgery/ideology.
"But there is the danger to becoming immobilized, to doubt my motivations, doubt my values." There's so much in this sentence. Immobilized? How so? I think examining our motivations might actually be wise. I also think life will demand that we grapple with our values--often our values will compete with each other and we'll need to determine which is the stronger value that keeps us in integrity. Is this the same as doubting your values? Maybe this line of thinking doesn't speak to what you meant? Hopefully it's okay for me to ask what you find so deeply challenging about trying to see the other person's POV when it comes to the medicalization of gender, etc.? Of course, don't feel you need to answer any of this here. Just some thoughts and questions that came to my mind as I read your comment.
On Free Will was another piece I had in mind. ;)
One phrase stands out to me in this article, and it appears at the end of the article: "believing the lie". As time passes I have come to see evil as a straw man. The way to defeat it is simply to stop believing in it. Once we figure it out, it simply dissolves and becomes air. We don't have to give evil a home. It sounds to me like you are in a continuous game of arm-wrestling. Maybe the solution is simply to stop wrestling.
At the risk of sounding condescending, I feel very strongly that what's needed in the world is a larger perspective. We human beings are trapped in our terrors, partly because physical reality is an unpredictable place. We need to step back from what we are, which would allow us to see that we are not what we think we are. So at the risk of branding myself as Mr. Know-It-All Metaphysical Man, I want to remind everyone (and myself) that we are immortal beings who exist outside of all of the considerations we have about ourselves and about other people. Our physical universe is a stage in which we act out our issues, and in the process we resolve our misunderstandings. When the play is over, we simply walk away from it and become embroiled in a new play with new issues to be resolved. We reincarnate, and each life represents a play with the physical universe as the stage.
An interesting thing that is happening now is the emergence of near-death experiences (NDEs). Near-death experiences have always been with humanity, but in the past the near-death experiencers (NDErs) were put in insane asylums or burned as witches. Society is now listening to them. What they are showing us is that we are immortal, that reincarnation is real, and that anything is possible. Stepping away from evil concepts is something that we all ultimately do.
The people in our lives who represent evil -- Putin is my big obsession right now, even more than Trump who is trying to upend democracy -- are people we have invited into our lives. The time will come when we stop inviting bad people into our lives. Indeed, the time will come when the physical lives stop because we don't need them any more.
It's important to understand reincarnation. On my personal blog, I give an example. Imagine yourself to be a fish in the ocean. The ocean represents God because the ocean was necessary for the fish to evolve. So the ocean gave birth to the fish, yet the ocean is also the fish's environment. So the fish lives a life in the ocean. If a barracuda comes along and eats the fish, the fish isn't dead. It simply reincarnates -- and may even reincarnate as a barracuda. Not only that, the fish will have chosen the time and manner of its death. So nothing is lost. Indeed, because there is no time within God, and past/present/future exist simultaneously, the fish's life continues to exist for others to witness or experience for themselves.
All I'm trying to say is that we need to see that we are larger than our current circumstances. There is no current life circumstance that doesn't at some point resolve itself or drop away. If you have lost a child to transgenderism, then yes, you have to deal with the emotions that that engenders, and you learn from it; but in your next life, that child may be your father or mother or a sibling or a friend. We are all more than we think we are.
I suspect we share a similar metaphysical understanding and are even saying similar things. "Maybe the solution is to simply stop wrestling." Indeed. And yet, what's happening when we find ourselves wrestling even in our determination to stop? I've come to understand this as our shadow work. (See my piece On Suffering.) There are parts of ourselves we need to meet, and I think this is how they let us know about them. So this is where that loving gaze comes in. "Oh, I see you. I see the vulnerable part of me that needs a bad guy out there to project my own 'badness' onto." I guess I'd say, rather than "simply stop wrestling" which sounds like an attempt to control or suppress something in ourselves, what happens when we DO something, attempt to understand the underlying reasons for that which we judge (which is not the same thing as allowing or tolerating them,) apply the loving gaze that I describe in the piece?
I think you are the first person who has taken one of my metaphysical rants seriously. Thank you for that.
Regarding my "simply stop wrestling" comment, let me explain a bit. I'm old enough (almost 76) to have experienced the dropping-away of bad habits and patterns, and that has given me the insight that once a pattern has been understood and unknotted (i.e., has outlived its usefulness), it simply evaporates, allowing me to move on to the next pattern/knot to be dealt with. There's no way, of course, to force myself to get to that place -- I simply have to let the pattern play out until it loses power. We don't release the bad habits by force of will. They fall away naturally when the driving emotions behind them are understood and demystified, and usually the biggest emotion (in my experience) is fear. Fear seems to factor into everything. (Sorry if I'm being redundant.)
I've never been focussed too much on evil in my life, although I see it all around me in the world. I learned fairly early that the root of all evil is simple ignorance. People who do evil are people who don't understand complexities.
I just reread parts of your article, and the language you use is a little different from what I might use, so there are things you said that I didn't entirely grasp. Being basically a simple-minded thinker, as I am, perhaps you understand some complexities better than I do.
So, do you believe in reincarnation? Near-death experiences are very exciting to me because a significant number of NDErs come back having remembered some of their past lives.
Yes, "they fall away naturally". I think you describe this well--when a pattern becomes unknotted, it loses its power over us. And yes, I think fear will be the main driving force in our lives until we start to look at our own patterns, owning and untangling them.
I'm not sure what I believe other than in a bigger story like you mentioned in your initial comment--and in my puny human perspective that couldn't possibly understand the Mystery. That said, I do find myself very drawn to content about NDEs and how their experiences might help us be a little less fearful. I think we do much damage when our lives are driven by fear.
I imagine a world where we have a healthier relationship with death (an integral part of Life) and our shadow.
I appreciate your thoughtful comments.
I've been reading about NDEs since Raymond Moody published his first book about them in 1975. In my view, they provide absolute proof that we survive death. NDEs plus some other metaphysical sources I believe in (the Seth Material, the Cayce readings, the Spirits Book, and the Swedenborg books) combine to create a believable and amazing picture of what existence is all about. This is the REAL "Good News". I want to say more, but if I do, I'll be up typing for two hours. Let me just say, in a nutshell, that we reincarnate for a series of physical lives that allow us to evolve spiritually. Once reincarnation has done for us all it can, we move permanently into the afterlife, where we exist in a more spiritual form (much more pleasant than being physical), and where we are immortal. It sounds like fantasy, but it is all true.
Now, I have forgotten what your story is. You have a son or daughter who is trans? I may have read your story, but the details have slipped my mind. Can you lead me to an article on your Substack which summarizes the situation? (Actually, let me take a look right now.) I may be confusing you with Hippiesq, who has a daughter in her early twenties.
Thank you for this, so many wonderful points. I had heard the Solzhenitsyn quote before but never understood the point he (and now you) were making. Your exploration here reminds me of a short talk I found when researching political division, you may find it an interesting corollary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qwDNIpJhYc
Thanks Friend! I'll check this out.