Rather than the usual monthly newsletter, I’m going to take an opportunity to remind subscribers of the levels of support offered by the SMP.
I know most readers of the SMP Substack find themselves in the most destabilizing, crazy-making, isolating experience I can imagine. Suffering is a universal human experience. No one moves through Life completely avoiding tragedy, pain and heartache. But the added layers of social rejection, gaslighting, and parental alienation that are part of dealing with a child who’s adopted a trans identity certainly make this experience uniquely painful, lonely, and confusing.
As a former classroom educator, a passionate student of attachment and parenting, and a certified life coach, I decided not only would I not let this movement claim my family or my quality of life, but I wanted to help other families sucked into this phenomenon stay as healthy and whole as possible–I certainly know how difficult this is in a world that seems determined to rip us apart. I started the Substack and relaunched my coaching practice with this aim; focusing on helping moms navigate the treacherous path of our children’s coming of age in these oh-so-strange times.
Levels of support here at the SMP include the free content on this Substack where I write about my insights as the parent of a 19 yo trans-identified daughter who’s been at this for a good chunk of her life. I also write about some of the attachment, psychology, and other human development concepts that have helped me not only maintain sanity, but to reorient to Life in general in a way that feels so much healthier, more hopeful and resilient–which I believe is no small feat in a world gone mad. You’ll also find podcast episodes where I converse with guests who I believe have experience or expertise that may also offer you comfort, hopefulness, strategies, etc.
The paid content tends to be a little more personal. Here you’ll find more details about my relationship and communication with my daughter and occasional updates on how she’s doing. I also share some older reflections from before I launched the SMP and some dream interpretation pieces for those who have interest in mining our dreams for the inner wisdom I believe we all have.
There are also special podcast episodes available to paid subscribers including Q&As with expert guests. Questions for these Q&As are submitted by members of our SMP online community housed over at Mighty Networks.
So, yes, there’s also an online community where you’ll find more helpful content, curated to support you through this difficult circumstance, this “box of darkness” your child has brought to you. Here you’ll also find other moms who have joined together and support each other to ease the loneliness, swap stories and strategies, and learn and grow together. This community is celebrating its first anniversary, and I continue to be so impressed with the growth these moms are experiencing and the compassionate support they offer one another. New moms are always warmly welcomed. Here’s what one of our moms recently said about the community:
What I like the most about the SMP is that each of us has been to some version of hell with our trans-identified child, and the reason we are all in the SMP is our own attempt to come back from that hell.
Many other parent groups frequently spiral into self-flagellation and extensive rumination about gender ideology and the terrible situation we are in. In contrast the SMP community is focused on our own development. Sometimes we give each other advice about our children, but mostly we help each other focus on how we – as individual mothers – are going to survive our child’s ordeal and dare we say it – thrive and be happy no matter what happens. We are not giving up on our kids, but we are learning to step back and trust them to grow.
I have learned (or remembered) that I can’t control my child’s thoughts and behavior; I can only control my own, and surprise, the healthier and happier I get, the healthier and happier she gets. It turns out what my child needs most during her time of crisis is a strong model of how to be a healthy, happy, caring adult.
-Laura, mother of a 16 yo trans-identified daughter
This is a private, vetted, paid community. To learn more about the community, click this link or visit the SMP online community tab in the header menu of the StoicMom Project Substack. Be sure to scroll down below the header image where you’ll find more testimonials and the application to be vetted.
To celebrate the anniversary, we’re inviting you to join us in the SMP online community for the introductory price of just $210 for an entire year of membership. (Regular $255) This reduced price is good through the month of November and includes all of the basic membership benefits:
A loving community of growth-oriented, non-affirming moms
Curated content to help you not only cope but to grow and learn and improve your experience (which you may discover has a ripple effect.)
Monthly live zoom meetings to share your stories and receive guidance for navigating in as healthy a way as possible
Peer led learning clubs that do deep dives into books or other helpful resources. Currently, we have a mom who is also training to be a health and wellness coach leading an Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction class. Many health professionals spend thousands to take MBSR courses. The content for this course is available free online, but if you join our community, you’ll be able to participate in a cohort who have committed to working through the content together to get the very most out of this amazing resource. If you jump into this now, you’ll catch up quickly and be able to move through the modules along with the other moms in the group.
The annual membership package (now for just $210) also gets you a paid annual subscription to the StoicMom Project Substack so you can access all the content available to you here.
Checking out the application will help you get a sense of the culture we’ve created and whether the community might be a good fit for you. Please don’t hesitate to ask questions in the comment section of this post or reach out to me directly at stoicmom@protonmail.com
And finally, if you would prefer to have more intimate, 1:1 support for your unique situation, I invite you to complete this interest form to request a complimentary discovery session with me. This session lasts about an hour, is completely free, and will give you a good sense of whether working with me in a coaching relationship might be that thing you need to help you shift the experience you’re having.
Here are some Client Testimonials to give you an idea of how others have experienced working with me.
I hope that if any of this is resonating for you that you’ll follow your heart and give it a go. I known it might feel a little vulnerable—risky even—to try something new and different but if you’re feeling helpless, hopeless, or stuck, I want you to know that there are ways to change this–if you’re open to it. For moms who already have found healthy ways to move through the madness, we’d sure love to have you contribute your wisdom and energy to the group!
I also know this way isn’t attractive for everyone, and as always, I encourage you to listen to your gut.
As we enter the winter holiday season, I wish you peace and many moments of laughter and connection with your loved ones.
I wrote this a year ago when I entered the Stoic Mom Project. "I am looking to stop utilizing my mental energy on researching and ruminating, and to release my attachment to my daughter's outcomes, so I can find some peace and clarity as I move forward in my own life. I am grateful for this community of like-minded mothers." And this is exactly what I have gained from being in the SMP.