July in the SMP
Summer
Both my kids have birthdays in June. All four of us have summer birthdays. Summers for us are always full of adventures and changes that set the tone for the year ahead. Having spent so much of my adult life in the education system as a student, a teacher, and a parent, I’ve just come to accept that the “school year” seems to dictate the rhythm of our lives. Many of you may relate to this. I’ve learned it’s really difficult to predict where we might be this time next year, and have discovered that flowing with the changes LIfe inevitably brings, allowing myself lots of ease and play in these hot summer months, and enjoying the always interesting progression of my children’s unfolding development suits me and my wellbeing–which I’ve been known to prioritize. ;)
If you’re needing permission to prioritize your wellbeing, here’s one of my most popular articles that I wrote last fall that might be helpful:
My 16 yo son who still needs to test for his driver’s permit, saved enough to purchase his first (project) car. Actually, it’s probably more of a project than a car at this point, but he’s so stinking excited about it! I’m loving listening to him enthusiastically describe his plans for restoring this classic heap that’s now sitting in front of our house. (Yes, we’re now that neighbor.) Yesterday when he woke up, knowing when he got off work in the evening that we’d be taking him to pick it up, he exclaimed, “It feels like Christmas!” We heard this often throughout the morning. Christmas has always been a sort of delightful torture for him since delayed gratification is not among his strengths.
If you missed the big update on my trans-identified daughter, you can read that here:
I decided to give her a call yesterday. (I’ve been consciously limiting myself but finding it easier than I thought it would be...) She and her roommates were busy doing chores, preparing for their housewarming party to happen last night. I’ve been missing being the one that she locates after her work shifts and updates with all the co-worker drama. I was relieved to get her on the line and find her eager to share about her new life, talking a mile a minute just like she would those evenings she got home after a grueling shift. As we were ending the call, I said something like, “Look at you. You’re really making it happen.” She responded with, “I’m really happy.” This created some mixed feelings since she’s stated often throughout the past 5 years how unhappy she was living at home. But mostly, truly, I’m just really happy for her. She’s finally “living the dream.”
Content/Subscription Update
Last fall I launched helpful concepts along the way and created three episodes/lessons/whatever-you-want-to-call-them. This inspired the launch of the SMP Community, an amazing group of growth-oriented moms supporting each other to navigate these strange times and the difficult and destabilizing circumstance of parenting trans-identified young humans. This community is now housed on Mighty Networks, a membership based platform. As a result, instead of creating monthly lessons for hcaw, I offer monthly themes on the MN platform with curated content and live discussion at our live monthly meetings. The reason I bring this up is because along with the introduction of hcaw, I increased subscription prices on this Substack to reflect the added value. Since I don’t see myself creating new episodes, at least for the foreseeable future, I wanted to let subscribers who came in at the higher price of $9.50/month know that I’ve dropped the price back down to $7/month. Feel free to cancel and resubscribe if you want to adjust what you’re paying and still have access to the reflections along the way series and exclusive podcast guest Q&As. (If you became a paid subscriber within the last month, you should already be at the $7 rate.)
If you’re interested in learning more about the community, click here and scroll down below the header image.
Monthly Theme
Focus is the theme this month in the SMP Community. Neuroplasticity is such an amazing feature of being human. The way we filter input can determine the quality of our experience, and knowing that we can rewire our brains by managing our focus is powerful information. It takes some conscious effort but I’d say it’s well worth it if you’re as inclined as I am to prioritize your wellbeing. ;) Among other content intended to inspire and support members to pay attention to where they put their attention, I’ve included this SMP article from last spring, written specifically for non-affirming parents of trans-identified kiddos, that describes some ways to start practicing conscious focus management:
And lastly,
I hope you’re allowing some wellbeing into your summer! You may need to give yourself permission. I know it can be difficult to “change the channel” from all the noise and divisiveness, but it is possible. Some parents may believe they don’t deserve it–especially if their child refuses to desist–but I’d argue that this just may be what your child needs most from you.