December in the SMP

Photo by Trophim Lapteff on Unsplash

StoicMom’s approach to Christmas 2023

If you missed the latest (Christmas-related) update on my daughter, you can read that reflection along the way here: Shifting…

I’ve really taken to weaving through the forms of crochet and macrame (thanks to YouTube—that platform ain’t all bad.) I dabbled in crochet as a child but I also never learned to read a pattern. I grew up in a large family and we didn’t have a lot of money. Sometimes when I was desperate for a new clothing item, I would fantasize about and then attempt to crochet something. These grandiose visions always resulted in disappointment because I had nowhere near the necessary skill to weave an attractive article of clothing. 

Though, speaking of Christmas, there was one when I was a teenager and I did manage to pull off a modest crochet goal: I made a miniature stocking for each of my siblings that I “filled” with a roll of lifesavers. I think I probably got one or two done before Christmas Eve, but then spent much of “the Night Before Christmas” frantically finishing the other 10 or 11. I also remember having one young sibling there with me for whom the excitement was almost too much. I’d invited her to sleep with me that night, and I did my duty as one-in-the-know of encouraging her to sleep so Santa could come, but also stoking her excitement as each little noise meant that Santa might be downstairs right now…! When I finished my goal, I snuck down myself to hang my little gifts on the tree.

As I’ve mentioned in past posts, my enthusiasm for spending lots of time and money on shopping for more needless stuff is about gone. (My children are happy that my husband has stepped up in this department! Though the girl has asked mostly for practical items, my boy’s list is a bit more frivolous. A crowbar? Seriously?! I promise he’s not a delinquent.) 

So instead of shopping, I’ve spent many hours crocheting gifts (at the expense of a clean house. Once again, frantically working to finish them all in time) When it dawned on me that I’d be making something for my daughter’s romantic partner (a blanket) and one of her roommates (a stocking,) I knew I had a dilemma. I called her to let her know and asked if I should make something for her other roommate, who happened to be there as we were chatting. My daughter put me on speaker, and this roommate–who’s clever sense of humor is much appreciated–requested “finger caps.” My daughter asked, “finger caps?” and the roommate responded, “yeah, you know the opposite of fingerless gloves.” 

Challenge accepted. Who knew how addicting it would be to pump out finger caps of various designs?! I had to rein myself in by reminding me that I could make more on the 8-hour drive to spend Christmas with our girl. My husband likes to remark on how it’s all witchcraft to him. As I crochet all these items that will end up in the possession of my kids and the people they surround themselves with, I make sure to weave love spells into each project. 

Content that StoicMom is consuming these days 

One day maybe I’ll settle on consistent categories for these monthly newsletters. Alas, today is not that day. 

This category occurred to me, because so often lately, I have clients and community members who assume that I’m consuming content offered by the gender regulars. In fact, I’m probably more out of touch than ever when it comes to the Gender Wars.

So what do I seek out instead? I remain fascinated with the human experience, and can’t get enough Jung-related content these days. 

I still listen to the occasional This Jungian Life podcast. In fact, speaking of weaving, this week I listened to the recent episode titled, Do we inherit our parent’s fears? where they analyze the fairytale of Briar Rose, more commonly known to us these days as Sleeping Beauty. And, yes, I found this a very relevant episode for parents of trans-identified kids, though maybe in less obvious ways than the title suggests. 

I’ve also been consuming content by Michael Meade, who I discovered recently through a strange chain of events. Surprisingly, I found myself recently relistening to this episode of my own podcast interview of Lisa Marchiano to notice that she mentions Michael Meade in our conversation! Hmmm. Synchronicity? I love listening to Meade talk (and drum) about apocalypsis. According to Meade this archetypal word/concept is the precursor to apocalypse but with a much more optimistic twist. 

Finally, my favorite new Substack is Beyond Belief which I’ve just added to my list of recommendations. I discovered this Stack when I went to track down an article that showed up in my algorithm some months ago, titled Just a Coincidence? Don’t expect anything there to directly relate to the Gender Wars. It’s mostly “a joyful celebration of life itself.”

You may be sensing a theme here? My interests have shifted dramatically from the dark and disturbing gender topics to content of a more nourishing spiritual nature. I love Jung’s philosophy for dealing with our existential question of what it really means to be human and whether we’re truly here to fulfill a purposeful quest. And like the BB article linked above, I’ve arrived at the conclusion that it “works” to believe we are.  

The SMP Community

One mom recently said of her experience as a member of our online community: 

I pay attention to how I feel after I have engaged in a space. I’m in a lot of different support groups… but consistently when I engage, even if it’s just popping in for a few minutes to see what the latest post is, when I log out to go back to my day or whatever I’ve got to do, I feel better. I just feel good. I feel good in the space, and when I leave and go about my day, I feel good. And I cannot say that about any other space consistently...being able to be in a better place, it means a lot.

We have an amazing leadership team and this is just a fabulous group of moms that are eager to share what’s working for them and act as a net to catch you when you start to spiral. 

I’ve decided to extend the sale price of $210 for an annual membership through the end of 2023. Maybe it’s time to give yourself the gift of a nourishing community of moms navigating the treacherous waters of parenting a trans-identified teen or young adult? This private, paid, vetted community won’t be offered at this price again. 

For the first three months of 2024, we’ll be discussing the Foundations course (the three modules are now found only in the SMP online community) at our monthly live meeting. I packed this course with helpful tools and tips from my education background, life-coaching toolbox, and obsession with the human experience. We’d love to have you join us in these discussions! 

And lastly…

Check out my new work with me page, now found in the menu at the SMP Substack.

This is the last SMP newsletter of 2023! I hope you all have practices that help you roll with whatever messy may visit your holiday season. Because Life is messy, and there’s beauty in the mess if you know how to recognize it. May we all emerge in 2024 with new insights that make Life even just a little more rich and awe-inspiring.