2025. It's a wonder we're here (together)!

Happy New Year! I have to admit, I’m tripping that we’re here–a quarter of the way through this century. I remember going to my son’s kindergarten graduation and being struck by the giant banner that announced this would be the “Class of 2025”; such a far-off year of Sci-Fi that once struck wonder in my heart as a child. Of course, I had zero clue just how much my little family and the lives of the four of us would change over the next 13 years, in a way that even science fiction hadn’t predicted. I imagine you can relate.

And now here we are. It’s not news that change is the one constant. And to nourish and make way for the new, old things need to die and decay.

There’s a beautiful question that Dr. Lisa Miller, author of The Awakened Brain, encourages that we regularly ask ourselves, “What is Life telling me right now?” I like to think this question invites me to assess where I’m swimming upstream, fighting reality and struggling against something that I’m refusing to accept. What do I need to let go of that’s no longer serving me (or the SMP)?

And, what opportunities are presenting themselves? Am I attuned to these possibilities for growth–or am I resisting out of fear of the unknown, of risk and failure? Or if I’m being really honest with myself, fear of growth and what that might demand of me?

These last few weeks of 2024 pulled me fully into this dance of discernment. I’ve found myself wrestling with resistance, my body even getting involved and reminding me of my age and some very real limitations. But ultimately, I think I’ve decided to take some frightening leaps of faith and seize some opportunities that, again if I’m honest with myself, seem to be manifesting to serve the SMP.

I’ll tell you a little secret about all this that I probably shouldn’t: this makes me a little grumpy. What these opportunities will demand of me is no small ask. I’m discovering these days, that often what I (think I) want and what’s best for the SMP aren’t the same thing. I’ll have to sacrifice comfort and that ever-elusive leisure to research new tools and concepts; I’ll have to stretch myself (seriously? again?) to develop new skills along with the capacity to delegate. I’ll have to exercise (some pretty rusty) discipline to work in partnerships with others, and even, ugh, complete orders set forth by, well, not me. I really like doing things my way, following my own flow, and not having to answer to anyone. Being a maverick is my comfort zone–in case you’ve not gathered this yet about me.

But the SMP is no longer about me and hasn’t been for awhile now. It’s about the health of moms in the world today–and I think this deeply injured world needs healthy moms more than ever. Grounded moms, who trust their intuition and lead their families with authenticity and wisdom. Moms who have healthy relationships with their emotions, knowing how to interpret and work with them productively. Fierce moms who also exude grace and compassion. I know it’s a tall order, but I think parenting is the vehicle that is meant to coax out and develop these qualities in us.

It was never going to be easy, that’s “by design” in that mothering always requires sacrifice and uncomfortable expansion to bring children into the world and love them in a way that we’re able to provide for their needs and their emerging maturity. Throughout the parenting journey, we’ll develop our own capacity for ever more pain, grief, and loss, awe, wonder, and joy…

Yet these days, it seems parenting is downright devastating, causing many (including myself) to crumple to the floor in the fetal position, often drained of the will to continue trying and desperately wishing there was someone out there who could take care of us. There are many reasons for this change in the order of things, and I’ll not enumerate them in this article; for a bit more of my perspective here, check out some of my older articles like this one or this, or tune into the podcast.

It’s no wonder that so few of us feel equipped to deal with the destabilizing circumstances that we’re being asked to mother our children through. It’s like we woke up one day in the Upside Down, and the maps we’ve been given to navigate this strange new territory just lead us to dead ends or worse yet, into stormy seas or right off the edge of a cliff. Why don’t we have working compasses, for God’s sake? Is it really supposed to be this hard?

Honestly, I don’t think so. I think this generation of parents got screwed in so many ways. Unfortunately, life isn’t fair, and here we are. In 2025, stuck with the crazy-making task of parenting those who are coming of age in this Upside Down world, whether we like it or not.

And this is why the SMP exists. Because moms need support to recover their intuition. We do still have our compasses–they’re just buried, difficult to find, potentially needing some recalibrating (or maybe it’s user error?) And moms need community. We were never meant to raise children in nuclear families, with threats to parent-child attachment embedded ubiquitously throughout in our economic structures. And the world desperately needs more Stoic mamas who recognize the value of adaptability, resilience, and grace, and strive to model these qualities for our children.

So, the SMP again, faces more growing pains: exploring what it looks like to reach and support many more moms to come together in this Project. This message has been delivered to me from a variety of voices, though mostly from within our circle. We, the moms of those who use trans-identities to shield their vulnerability, are not the only moms who find themselves devastated and destabilized. So many moms are being brought to their knees from the pain of parenting in today’s world. I’m hoping we can face our fears and find room in our hearts and our community to widen the circle, developing and modeling the necessary vulnerability and grace to stretch and open ourselves up?

Opportunities to make the SMP the place where moms come to find this fellowship have been presenting themselves in the form of projects, partners, and helpers who’ve been drawn to the work of the SMP–which is clearly now, no longer just my work. This is what Life currently seems determined to show me. Other moms who’ve allowed this circumstance to transform them feel compelled to contribute and expand the vision of what we can accomplish together. They bring their own skills, strengths, interests, resources, and passion that can enrich the SMP, and I need to adapt and develop my own capacity to grow with the Project. (Ah, the wonder of Life! We’re either growing, stretching, expanding or we’re shrinking, dying, decaying; both are integral to Life, but resisting change is futile.)

I am humbled and feel incredibly blessed by this wealth of wisdom that has found its way here, to the SMP. I’m both thrilled by and terrified of the path ahead. I can’t share a whole lot of details about this path right now–much of it is still being visioned and mapped, and much is in the hands of others (eek!) I will let you know there’s going to be quite a bit of reimagining and restructuring for at least the first half of 2025.

How will this affect you, the SMP subscriber? Well, first off, thank you. Truly, thank you from the depths of my soul, for being here, reading this. If it weren’t for the subscribers of this Substack, this Project would never have gotten off the ground. Please don’t panic—if you’re the mom of a TI kid, we still gotchu.

I’ll share more throughout the month on how your experience here will change in 2025, both in terms of content you’ll encounter and also in how you can become more involved. One thing I can guarantee: curious minds and open hearts who play here together, will continue to learn and grow and develop together. I believe this is when humans are at their best; when we combine our stories and our strengths and our passion to create something beautiful, expansive, and wondrous.

Photo by Winston Chen on Unsplash

I do hope you’ll stick around and maybe even dive in a little deeper. Who knows? Maybe 2025 becomes the year you tackle some resistance (whether it’s been there for some time or something new is calling,) dust off (if you haven’t already) and use your compass (said another way: attune to your heart) and let it (continue to) guide you to the more beautiful, expansive, and wondrous!

What is Life telling you right now?